Imitation is the best form of flattery, until

“AWWWW, look at that, Emma’s mimicking daddy,” I gushed, as she tried to copy my last sentence with nonsensical baby speak.

Finally, somebody finds me to be an inspiration, I thought. My very own little Rory Bremner had been imitating physical movements for a while but was now echoing the spoken word.

“How amazing”, I said, wondering if Britain’s Got Talent had ever featured an impersonator, who happened to be a baby.

At lunchtime, I noticed Emma was leaning her head to one side and Victoria shouted, “you do that”.

Obviously, I know I place my head on one side but wasn’t aware of how noticeable it was to everyone else, especially a baby. Victoria, sensing weakness, said that I’m always wobbling my head from side to side, maybe because my neck isn’t strong enough to support the size of it.

I didn’t like the way this was going, and I also noticed she’d started replicating the rhythm of my speech, which to me, sounded a little slow at times.

Victoria again confirmed I can speak a little slow, which she said is annoying if you’re in a hurry. I explained I’d only speak slowly if I was thinking of what to say, it wasn’t because I am slow, just thoughtful.

This mockery of the rhythm of my voice, my awkward movements and a variety of other behavioral afflictions was building in intensity. It was also becoming very apparent Emma and Victoria were enjoying this game more than I was.

What was initially a wonderful developmental milestone was drifting into mild bullying.

It was just before dinner