Out of the mouths of babes comes a whole new level of trouble – for me
FONDLY, I remember Victoria’s anger when Emma’s first word was ‘dada’. This was because she’d spent the prior few weeks teaching her ‘mama’.
Although, I was reliably informed by ‘mama’, babies say ‘dada’ first because it’s much simpler and far less complex than the female version.
Thomas surprised us both by saying ‘hiya’ to anyone and everything.
Thankfully, ‘hiya’ has been transformed into the more traditional yet drawn out ‘hellooo’ followed by a confident wave of regal
quality.
My only criticism would be this mainstay of communication is used for any occasion and at times is simply inappropriate, especially when we’re saying ‘goodbye’.
Emma’s repertoire has broadened to include ‘cat’, ‘done’, ‘no’, ‘mama’ and a passable impression of a dog, in which she lifts her hands up to signal paws and pants.
She also does an excellent Kenneth Williams style ‘Oooooh, matron’ although we’ve no idea who taught her that.
Intriguingly, ‘dada’ is now used to identify Peppa Pig, a rotund, rosy coloured cartoon character with a big head and stomach, who eats a lot of cake.
Possibly, the greatest advantage of the twins’ ability to talk is that it’s given Victoria and I another form of communication.
For example, Victoria might say to me ‘have you changed Thomas’ nappy?’ and I’ll confidently reply ‘yes’.
Moments later, I’ll hear her saying in a hushed yet still audible voice ‘did Daddy change your nappy?’.
Obviously, the effect of this is twofold. Firstly, it implies my word is not always to be trusted and secondly, it keeps me toeing
the line, if I’m aware that Thomas is an informer.
Naturally, I’ve developed my own technique in which Thomas or Emma become third party intermediaries in a conversation.
For example, if I’m halfway through an overly long anecdote and Victoria starts giving me a list of things we need, I can say ‘mummy doesn’t listen to daddy’, in a barely audible voice to the twins.
This situation can escalate if Victoria replies with ‘that’s because Daddy talks too much’ in similarly hushed tones. For the moment, this all relies on very little input from the pair of them but part of me is looking forward to when they can disagree or agree with Victoria’s and my observations on one another.
On the other hand, I’m worried the trouble will really start when they can finally answer mummy’s probing questions revealing any untruths. Worse still, when mummy finds out they watched Carry on Camping with daddy on a lazy Christmas afternoon, during which he taught Emma how to impersonate Kenneth Williams.