A spot of tough military training might have equipped me for fatherhood
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS
‘WHO Dares Wins’ is a motto used by the SAS, military forces worldwide and Del Boy in the classic situation comedy, Only Fools and Horses.
For the purposes of this week’s column, I’m going with the trained combat expert’s understanding rather than that of a lovable cockney wide-boy.
My new-found interest in soldiering started as I was carrying Thomas into nursery, while complaining to the father behind me how I feel like I’ve had one continuous cold since the twins were born.
And he laughed, even though I was making a serious statement about how I felt and said ‘parenthood is like military training, constant stamina tests, it’s Who Dares Wins’.
An interesting observation, I thought and then wondered whether he himself was a military man as he has very short hair, sometimes wore running clothes in the cold and looked quite fit.
I’m not sure whether all those characteristics apply to everyone with military training, but you could correctly surmise I’ve never been anywhere near the army by my appearance.
Fortunately, I do know somebody who’s been an actual Royal Marine.
‘The hardest part of being on a mission is you never know where or whether you’ll sleep, and that combination of deprivation and uncertainty has a big effect on psychological wellbeing’ he said.
I once fell asleep on the twins’ bedroom floor with the changing mat as my pillow, I thought, but chose not to share that with him.
And very much like the Marines, I might be woken up at any time by screaming from my
commanding officer, Victoria.
Obviously, I’m joking as even though Lieutenant Colonel Victoria has taken operational command within the home, I’m allowed 8pm-10pm for a bit of R&R when I’m permitted to watch what she wants on the telly.
And rarely, are there any missions for me to complete during this time or certainly nothing more than loading the dishwasher.
Another similarity struck me as we went for a yomp across the deserted wasteland of an out-oftown retail centre on a mission to find a BOGOF deal on nappies.
We were laden with baggage, prepared for any eventuality and it struck me every trip out of the house was a demanding mission with small children. However, there’s a reason why people join the military or have children and that’s because it’s challenging but rewarding. The Royal Navy sum it up best with ‘If you want Peace, Prepare for War’, although the Navy Seals encapsulate the majority of my life with ‘The Only Easy Day was Yesterday’.