Middle-lane hogging sparks rage
Middle-lane hoggers are more than a motorway annoyance, they’re a hazard. Gareth Butterfield calls for common sense
I WAS on the M1 for a while the other day and, as is often the case, couldn’t wait to get off it.
It wasn’t the traffic that was bothering me, or the ridiculous stretch of completely dysfunctional “smart” motorway. Or, for that matter, the miles and miles of “roadworks” which were completely devoid of anyone doing any “work”.
The problem I faced that day was a proliferation of middle-lane hoggers. It was so bad at a few points I honestly thought I was in danger.
Hogging the middle lane might not seem dangerous in itself, but it’s the idiotic actions it prompts people to take that really create danger.
At one point I’d been stuck behind a people carrier who was completely oblivious to what was going on when suddenly a guy in a BMW behind found it all a bit too much to bear.
Suddenly, he stepped on it, detached himself from the MPV’S bumper, threaded his way between my bonnet and the back of the people carrier in one violent swerve and then sat for a moment in lane one, right in front of me, almost barging the people carrier into lane three.
Then he floored it again, suddenly swerved in front of the probably terrified people in the Volkswagen Sharan with inches to spare and hit his brakes to hammer home the point he’d been trying to make. Then he sped away again.
As much as I’d been sat simmering with anger at the fact this MPV was being idiotic and causing problems for the whole carriageway, there was absolutely no need for such a ludicrous bit of driving by the BMW. And this, in case anyone’s wondering, is why hogging the middle lane is dangerous. It doesn’t just hold up the road and provoke people into overtaking, it also sparks rage in volatile imbeciles who really shouldn’t be on the road in the first place.
The fact these imbeciles exist is a sad reality of life on the road - and they’re often only removed from it when something horrible happens.
So, please, don’t poke them with a stick. If you’ve finished passing whatever was on lane one, get back into lane one.
There’s no need to be in the middle lane unless you’re overtaking and you’ll foul up the whole system if you hang around.
Sadly, during the entire 200 miles of motorway I did that weekend, I didn’t see a single police officer. So middle-lane hoggers are pretty much free to go out about their irresponsible business with no fear of reprisals. Meanwhile idiots like the guy I watched in the BMW are taking the law into their own hands and dishing out road-rage fuelled “punishments” that could cause huge accidents.
If you can’t drive safely on motorways, don’t get on them in the first place. It’ll be safer for all of us.