Driving abroad is only slightly less stressful than child-proofing a holiday villa
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS
FEAR can hold us back from exploring far flung destinations.
Although, it never stopped Captain James Cook and it’s thanks to his bravado, we had somewhere nice and sunny with good beaches to send criminals.
Having said that, a little bit of fear might have stopped him from being murdered by the locals. This is exactly why we took the twins to Spain rather than trekking through the foothills of Everest.
We know Spain has hospitals, friendly natives and paella
but it’s still travelling for the twins and therefore still a challenge for us.
The drama started when we discovered we had to collect and fit baby seats to the car in a dark multi-storey at a sultry 30°C, while the twins screamed.
Eventually, the shouting and swearing died down and we left the car park, with little or no confidence the seats had been fitted correctly.
Finally, it was time to relax in a car I’d never driven with potentially unsecured children on a five-lane motorway. Victoria helped by barking ‘RIGHT, STAY ON THE RIGHT’ alternated with ‘LEFT, LOOK TO THE LEFT’, on any roundabout. Finally, we arrived at the villa and it was beautiful with marble floors, marble steps, two balconies with views to the sea, a sun terrace on the first floor and a patio door leading to a pool. ‘This is great’ I said to Victoria, while my inner
brain screamed: “Jesus, this is a death-trap, something very bad will happen here’.
As we were hurriedly trying to move breakable objects from tables, we noticed Thomas climbing the marble steps.
It only then became apparent the steps had a 5ft drop to the hard marble floor. As I rescued Thomas, Emma ran past me holding a knife.
I shouted at Victoria, who was busy locking the patio door, to disarm Emma.
It turns out Emma could reach and open the kitchen utensils drawer.
Everything settled down until I heard the shower running and realised Thomas was missing.
‘Perfect’ I thought, they can open all the doors, so we are now unable to trap them.
Within an hour, we’d blocked the stairs with the sofa, locked everything, secured drawers with string and Victoria’s dad arrived.
The mood was changing, and it was time to enjoy a Spanish beer in the garden. Everyone started chatting, while the twins enjoyed some fruit loaf.
It dawned on me, yes, there will be challenges and potential dangers but sometimes all you need is alcohol in the sunshine to make everything seem better.
There was no guarantee the car seats were secure