Tell me how annoyed mummy is
“Do you want mummy to change your nappy?” I might say, hoping for an answer in the affirmative, thereby giving me cause to say, “Emma wants you to change her”.
There’s also the spoken anxieties method of communication.
Victoria might say, in a gentle voice, to one of the twins, while I’m sitting in the same room: “Mummy’s worried the stairgate still doesn’t fit properly.”
So, now I know Victoria is concerned and it’s up to me to ease those concerns, but it’s all too easy for me to say, in a gentle voice again, to Thomas, “If Mummy’s so very worried about the stairgate then she might have to look at it herself because daddy has exhausted the limits of his expertise.” From here, this conversation is only ever going to escalate into something more forthright. The only problem with this form of communication is the future. If the twins pick it up, everyone in the house will be speaking softly and indirectly telling me what to do for the rest of our existence.
Kids seem unaware of their role as indirect messengers