You can learn to cope with sud­den or un­ex­pected loss

Gloucestershire Echo - - HEALTH & LIFESTYLE - Dr El­lie Milby is a coun­selling psy­chol­o­gist WITH DR EL­LIE MILBY

what hap­pened, re­play­ing sce­nar­ios over and again, won­der­ing if you could have done some­thing to pre­vent the loss.

You may also ex­pe­ri­ence re­gret about things you said or did or missed op­por­tu­ni­ties to act.

It’s also com­mon to feel anger when we lose some­one sud­denly. You might find your­self search­ing for some­one or some­thing to blame, or feel anger to­wards the per­son who has died for leav­ing you be­hind.

Un­ex­pected loss can also force us to face up to our own mor­tal­ity. You may sud­denly find your­self feeling anx­ious or pan­icky in sit­u­a­tions that didn’t bother you be­fore or have a more gen­eral sense of be­ing jumpy and on edge.

A client of mine once told me that the grief they ex­pe­ri­enced af­ter the sud­den death of their part­ner was like a long jour­ney through a dark tun­nel. Ac­cept­ing the griev­ing process doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily make the jour­ney easier but it can help you to be kin­der to your­self along the way.

For more in­for­ma­tion about grief and cop­ing with be­reave­ment vis­itcruse.org.uk

ev­ery­one copes with loss in their own way

You may be struck by un­ex­pected emo­tions

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