IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN? Seizing the day – big time

We all have ideas, hopes and dreams that niggle away at us. And it’s too easy to let the years go by without giving them the attention they deserve. But as these inspirational women discovered, there truly is no time like the present

‘We are all elastic – you have to stretch your comfort zone’

If I start to doubt myself I repeat the words, ‘Why not me?’

She was never much of a swimmer. But post-divorce, and with an empty nest, Alli Harmer has discovered a love for long-distance swimming that has transformed her life

Ilearnt to swim back in my school days, but as an adult I had only ever been a holiday swimmer. I could manage a few lengths of breaststroke, but nothing more. On the odd times that I had gone to the local pool, I had so admired the swimmers who glided through the water, making the whole thing look effortless.

I’ve always been a big believer in learning new things. In our younger years we are for ever learning and I’ve always thought it such a shame that we abandon that mentality as we get older. I think learning keeps you connected to life.

It certainly does for me. After my marriage ended in my late 40s, I found myself at a crossroads. I had four grown-up children and, among my friendship circle, the empty nest has triggered something rather special, with friends signing up to run a marathon or climb a mountain.

So I started doing things. I took up yoga for the first time and went to Vietnam backpacking. But I still found myself hankering after a physical challenge. When I saw a poster in my office about the Solent Swim – a three-mile race between Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight – I was intrigued. I enquired, and there was only one space left. I had to decide there and then if I was going to do it. I remember thinking, ‘If you close your eyes, how old do you feel?’ I was 54, but I felt no different from when I was in my 20s or 30s. If I could have done it then, then why not now? I decided to go for it.

The training was gruelling. I would drag myself out of bed at 5.30am for an hour-long swim most days to build up my stamina, and I signed up to a training course in intensive sea swimming. It’s a very different swimming style. You have to be much more aware of your surroundings, focusing on what is up ahead, while also trying to breathe in the right way.

When the day of the race arrived, it took me under two hours to complete the swim. With every stroke I stayed focused on the finish line and, as I emerged on to the beach to see my grandchildren building sandcastles and my children cheering me on, I felt an incredible sense of achievement.

That feeling is truly addictive. I have since taken part in several 10k swimming events and, with each one, my endurance is improving. For my next challenge, I am planning on swimming the Channel.

There will be four of us doing it in a relay, each swimming for an hour at a time, even through the night. It is a massive – and potentially dangerous – challenge and I’ve had to have extensive medical tests and training. At times training feels too hard. You hit walls. But you adapt and acclimatise and your body gets stronger. It is frustrating, yet incredibly rewarding.

The sensation of swimming in cold sea water is like nothing I have ever experienced. It is like a stabbing pain. But when it subsides you are left with a feeling that’s like being immersed in Champagne, with bubbles fizzing all over your skin. It can be a lonely pursuit, forcing you to become your own cheerleader. During a race, if I start to doubt myself, or my physical ability, with each stroke I repeat the words, ‘Why not me?’ It forces me on.

It’s taught me a lot about myself, and what I’m capable of. Challenges that at first seem impossibly daunting can become achievable. It’s about stretching your comfort zone one day at a time, and we are all elastic.

I’m less self-deprecating than I was. I know there will always be someone younger and fitter than me, but that doesn’t take away from my achievement.

At times I feel as if I’ve had two lives. One focused around a marriage and a family, another that is built on possibility, and it has brought me a different kind of fulfilment. It’s certainly not how I expected my 50s to look, but that’s been the pleasant surprise about ageing. There are always new challenges.