‘My heart is full of happiness’ After experiencing loss and heartache, Pherenice Worsey-buck is celebrating the gift of love
On Christmas morning my husband, David, and I will pull on our trainers and head off for a run. It’s not what most couples would plan to do at such a busy time but running means far more to me than exercise. It’s my outlet, the way I work through my emotions. It’s also how I met David.
A few years ago my life was very different as I tried to come to terms with becoming a widow. My husband, Mark, developed problems swallowing and was diagnosed with advanced oesophageal cancer. Within a week, he could no longer communicate and 10 days after being admitted to hospital, he died, aged just 43. I felt numb from the shock, unable to process what had happened. Telling my sons Tyler and Isaac, who were then seven and two, that their daddy wasn’t coming home was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I felt as if our futures had been wiped out in an instant.
Grief took over and I could hardly bear to leave the house. Anything could trigger a fresh wave of sorrow, from a song that reminded me of Mark to the sight of his clothes still hanging in the wardrobe. I found huge comfort in Widowed and Young, a charity that provides support and advice to young widows. I joined their network, and found a strong group of men and women who were also dealing with loss. Learning from their experiences gave me the confidence to confront my own grief.
A few months after Mark died, Tyler told me I should take up running. Puzzled, I asked him why and his answer was heartbreaking. He was worried that something awful might happen to me, too. I’d never done any running before but to give my son the security he craved, I agreed to give it a go.
I joined a gym and, as my fitness improved, I found myself looking forward to it. Running seemed to provide an outlet for all my dark emotions and I’d return home feeling ready to face the day ahead.
After hearing about Parkrun, which organises runs across the country, I decided to complete a 5k run with my best friend, Kerry. On the first anniversary of Mark’s death, I managed it. It was the perfect way to honour Mark’s memory and I felt sure he would have approved, so I set myself a bigger challenge – to run 43 races, Mark’s age when he died. It gave me a new sense of purpose and I felt as though my life had focus again.
A year later, I met David, one of the organisers of my local Parkrun, who was divorced with four grown-up children. We started running together and our friendship blossomed into something deeper.
One day in February, he was giving the pre-parkrun briefing as usual when he got down on one knee in trainers and running gear and proposed. All around us, people were smiling and clapping. On our wedding day in September, we started the day with a run and I jogged in a wedding outfit and veil. At the ceremony I even wore rose-gold trainers with my dress!
I’ll never forget Mark, but David’s support and understanding has made me feel safe enough to love again. Having him in my life has expanded my heart, bringing me peace, joy and laughter. It’s the best gift I could ever have received.’
‘David’s support has made me feel safe enough to love again’