‘Women my age are invisible, but we have so much to give’

Winnette Deflorimonte, 55, from Surrey, feels men have it easier than women

Itook redundancy from my job in sales and marketing when I was 50. That was my choice, but I thought it would be fairly easy to find another job, and I’ve been surprised by how difficult it is in the UK to find interesting and challenging work when you’re an older woman. I feel I have lots of skills and experience to offer, but they don’t seem to be what’s wanted in the workplace. I did find a new job, working part time in the NHS. I take home about £800 a month, which is a long way short of the £30,000 I used to earn.

I’ve been married for 14 years, and my husband Mark works full time as a business administration manager. I feel it’s a very different story for men in midlife in the UK. Men in their fifties are considered to be in the prime of life, whereas women of that age are up against the menopause, and that’s hardly ever discussed, certainly not when you’re part of a Caribbean community – it’s simply never mentioned. But it affects us, and it affects our lives, and even our confidence, so it would be easier to overcome the difficulties if menopause was at least acknowledged.

My daughter Marsha is 32, so she’s long off my hands, but while it’s great to have more time and freedom, the downside is that if you’re not earning much money, you don’t have the same opportunities to do much with that freedom and time.

I feel there’s a big disconnect in this country between how we women in our 50s see ourselves, and how wider society sees us. I’m fit and healthy: I play badminton and do yoga twice a week. I feel way younger than I suspect my mother did when she was my age. I have a lot to give, and plenty more time in which to give it, and yet I feel I’m being put in a box that says my life is slowing down, that I shouldn’t expect too much.

I’m not surprised that more women of my age and stage are setting up businesses, and it’s in that direction I’d very much like my life to go. I think that’s a good way forward because we seem to be invisible, us midlife women, and yet we have so much to give. If we run our own businesses, we can do it on our own terms. I can’t afford to stop working yet and I don’t want to do that – like many people, I’ve been affected by the pension changes in this country, and I need to work in order to top up my pension pot. What will happen when I reach pensionable age? I’m not entirely sure, and it’s a worry.