‘I didn’t think I would ever be attractive again’
After years of self-doubt, Yemi King now looks in the mirror and sees a strong, vibrant woman
As a young woman, I was always confident about my appearance. Sociable and bubbly, I was never happier than when meeting new people and going on dates. I revelled in my sexuality and felt proud of my body.
In my 20s, I did a bit of modelling, later becoming a photographer. I had a partner, two beautiful children and a third baby on the way. Then, nine years ago, a couple of weeks after my daughter Grace was born, I began to feel unwell. It was the start of a terrifying downward spiral.
What began as the symptoms of a bad stomach bug turned into four years of agony. Chronic pain, nerve problems, vitiligo and hair loss were just some of the health issues I endured. I was eventually diagnosed with polyglandular autoimmune syndrome type 3, a rare condition that affects the body’s endocrine glands. It meant that I was experiencing almost every autoimmune disease – all at once. My weight and my confidence dwindled. Copious painkillers turned me into a zombie, too weak to leave the house. I struggled to be a good mum, and my relationship deteriorated. I had no hair, no boobs and no energy. I lost my sex drive, unable to fathom how I would ever be attractive again. I threw out all the mirrors in the house. I was a shadow of the person I used to be.
After the diagnosis, I arranged to see a psychologist, the turning point for my self-esteem. Talking therapy really helped my mental health, and my diagnosis meant that medical professionals were finally able to manage my condition, treating each of my symptoms as and when they flared up. I put on some weight, grew stronger at the gym and started to go out more.
During one conversation with my therapist, we spoke about confidence when it came to my career. I told her about my passion for photography, and she asked if I’d ever done boudoir shoots. Chatting to a friend about her own self-esteem issues and how she wanted to feel good about herself again, I raised the idea of boudoir photography – and she told me she’d love to have some pictures taken. It was the start of a new direction. The more I encouraged the women I photographed to love their bodies, the better I felt about my own. I started to look at myself more in the mirror and realised I liked my curves and the toned physique that had started to appear. I began to go out again. I experimented with more seductive clothes and allowed friends to introduce me to men. To some, it may have seemed like I was dressing up for show, but it was a deliberate decision to look my sexiness square in the face. For about a year up until my partner left, we hadn’t had sex. But as I got more male attention, I started to feel beautiful again.
Taking off my clothes... It took a lot of courage for me to take part in this photo shoot. Deciding to be on the other side of the camera was daunting at first. However, as soon as I took off my dressing gown, I relaxed into the experience. Relinquishing control and trusting the photographer was freeing. Like all of us, I have good and bad days. I still compare myself to others and worry about how I’m perceived. But posing for the camera, I felt liberated to be naked in front of a room of strangers. Now when I look in the mirror, I no longer see my flaws. Instead, I see a strong woman, finally embracing who she is.
‘I’m looking my sexiness square in the face’