HOLIDAY FROM MY HUSBAND... RESULT!
She wants to have adventures, while her other half prefers five-star luxury. Jane Moore understands why more couples are choosing separate getaways
Jane Moore on taking a break without her other half
very year, without fail, I head off on holiday for a fortnight, without my husband. Not because we don’t get on (although, trust me, we have our moments) but because, for me, two weeks away from the hustle and bustle of the family home is as restorative as six weeks at a Buddhist retreat.
There’s no dog to walk, no meals to cook, no bills to pay, no homework to oversee, and no husband starting just about every sentence with, ‘Have you seen my…’ car keys/glasses/phone or whatever else it is that he might have currently mislaid. In other words, it’s all about me. What bliss.
But the main reason I leave him behind is that my husband, Gary, and I are deeply incompatible when It comes to holiday destinations.
In short, while I like to seek out new adventures, he likes to stay in a five-star hotel with a vast pool, cushioned sunloungers, room service, ‘fluffy towels’ and mattress toppers like marshmallows.
In the early years of our marriage, I showed willing and we’d holiday with the kids – Lauren, Ellie and Grace – in a succession of faceless hotels, where Gary would happily sunbathe from nine to five and I would quickly feel agitated and want to do something else.
In Mykonos, I got a ferry to the ruined city of Delos, birthplace of Apollo, while my own, ahem, Greek god stayed by the pool of our hotel. In Mexico, I took Grace to swim with dolphins, then went zip-wiring through the jungle with Ellie
a few days later. Again, while ‘me Jane’ was doing all this, my ‘Tarzan’ was eating a banana on a sunlounger.
NEW TRADITIONS
Shortly after returning from Greece, I went for dinner with my recently divorced friend Francie and vented about being married to someone whose holiday requirements were so different to my own.
‘Why don’t we go away on a travel adventure?’ she suggested. ‘That way, you can do exactly what you want for a couple of weeks, then have a more relaxing holiday with Gary.’ And that was that. The start of an annual tradition that’s been a firm fixture in my diary for the past six years and, I hope, will remain so for as long as both of us can still manage it.
First, in 2014, we went to China and saw, among other things, Tiananmen Square, the Terracotta Army and the Great Wall. Next was Myanmar (formerly Burma), with its stunning temples and the breathtaking Inle Lake; followed by vibrant Argentina and Chile in 2016; the chilled Indian state of Kerala in 2017; and the unparalleled Galápagos Islands last year. Most recently, we went on safari in beautiful Kenya for a week before heading off to the spice farms and stunning beaches of Zanzibar. From the second I get to the airport without my husband in tow (I love him dearly but, seriously, how many times do you have to be told not to put liquids over 100ml in your hand
My husband and I are deeply incompatible when it comes to holiday destinations
luggage?), I feel the weight of city life lift from my shoulders.
I wake up to the thrill of new sights and sounds, and find great pleasure in immersing myself, albeit briefly, in a life far removed from my own. It gives me perspective. Granted, these types of trips don’t come cheap but, as far as I’m concerned, why not spend my hard-earned money on something that gives me far greater pleasure than having a designer wardrobe or a fancy car.
NO COMPROMISE
According to ABTA’S most recent Holiday Habits survey, the number of people opting for solo travel has risen from one in nine in 2017 to one in six last year.
‘Going on holiday by yourself means you don’t have to compromise on your choice of destination, your itinerary or the activities you take part in,’ says Mark Tanzer, ABTA’S chief executive.
Plus, today’s solo traveller is no longer defined by their relationship status or whether they have like-minded friends. Instead, they are increasingly choosing to leave their loved ones behind in order to do what they want, when they want and get a bit of hard-won me-time.
Meanwhile, back home, Gary is going solo on all the household chores we usually share and, when I call him, he never once complains that I’m away enjoying myself. He’s a treasure.
Mind you, he does get the TV all to himself and knows that, if he wanted to go on an adventure with one of his friends, I’d happily hold the fort at home.
Equally, when I return, he gets a relaxed and refreshed wife with a renewed appreciation of how lucky she is to be married to him. As the old saying goes, ‘Happy wife, happy life.’ I’ll raise a welcome cocktail to that.