‘It was incredible to uncover my own strength and bravery’
Gail Muller, 43, from Falmouth, Cornwall, has walked thousands of miles along some of the world’s greatest hiking trails – all through the fog of chronic pain.
When I was born, my feet turned inward so much that they were in casts for the first year of my life. Throughout my childhood they tripped me up, but I carried on climbing trees and racing around. Then, when I was in my early teens, a doctor told me: ‘If you don’t get your feet broken and reset, you’ll be in a wheelchair by the time you’re 40.’ I ignored the warning and carried on with my life, completing school and university and mixing a career in teaching with taking long trips all over the world.
But increasingly, my body became racked with intense pain; my hips, legs and back in such agony that sometimes even the weight of clothing was too painful. The pain broke up relationships, made things that others took for granted impossible, and made me hate my body.
The hardest thing is that doctors didn’t know what caused it. I am sure my feet played a part, but it was not the whole story. Four years ago, scans revealed that my jaw was not aligned, which doctors think made my body twist unnaturally. I spent two years realigning my mouth and, slowly, with intense physical rehabilitation, my pain began to improve.
That allowed me to dare to fulfil a dream I’d had since university, when I’d read Bill Bryson’s travelogue A Walk In The Woods, about walking the Appalachian Trail in the eastern US. The idea of doing it had never left me and, after losing a close friend in 2017, I decided there was no time like the present.
With every step, my relationship with myself and my body was transformed
UNCERTAIN START
Although I’d always travelled, this was a colossal step outside anyone’s comfort zone – let alone mine. The longest I’d ever camped was at a festival and, with my backpack full of prescription painkillers, I was not sure I’d even complete the start of the 2,000-mile trek. But pain, strangely, turned out to be an ally. It taught me to accept the ebb and flow of life; to realise I’d have good days and bad.
After my US experience, I wanted to complete a challenge closer to home, following the 630 miles of the South West Coast Path from Minehead to Poole. It is definitely not for the faint-hearted – as I soon discovered. Setting out in February 2020, I was beaten after six days of slipping and sliding through wind and rain. Nearly blown off the cliff side, I headed home, chastened by nature. Trying again in July 2020, I was energised by the constantly moving sea and stunning views. But it was hard, too, walking all day and camping at night. Some of the steep climbs around Fowey and Polperro were just as challenging as anything I’d experienced in America.
With every step on each trail, my relationship with myself and my body was transformed, and my chronic pain actually improved as I got stronger.
It has been incredible to uncover my own strength and bravery. You don’t have to walk 2,000 miles, you just have to push a little out of your comfort zone to feel empowered. Everyone is brave and adventurous – you just might not have realised it yet.
• Gail’s book, Unlost (Thread), is out on 7 September