‘Being able to help a family at their lowest ebb is satisfying’
Jane Gower, 72, from Northampton, had a 30-year career as CEO of an electrical wholesalers and now loves being a celebrant.
When my mum died 16 years ago, we wanted a secular funeral because my dad was an atheist. So, we hired a humanist (non-religious) celebrant. He spent 20 minutes with me so I could tell him about Mum and he wrote the eulogy. He didn’t send me a copy of what he was going to say and, on the day, he missed out half my mum’s grandchildren. It was terrible.
When my dad passed away three years later, I was determined not to let anything like that happen again, so I took it upon myself to write the eulogy and conduct the service. I didn’t have any training or experience, but I really enjoyed the process.
At the time, I was the CEO of a multimillion-pound electrical distributors company, Fegime UK. I was earning a six-figure salary, travelling across the world, meeting lots of new people, and driving around in posh company cars, so even though I enjoyed my taste of being a celebrant, I didn’t really think about pursuing it as a career.
As a CEO, I conducted negotiations, made important decisions and ran the management side of the company. It was an interesting industry to work in at the time because it was so male dominated and I was the only woman of that rank. But it also got a little lonely and overwhelming.
Despite that, I liked the job and it was allowing me to live the life I wanted. What stood out for me the most was organising the annual company conference. I’m a people person and I’m good at organisation, so I loved running the event planning because it was the only time I truly felt like me.
In 2016, after staying with the company for 30 years, I finally decided to resign and start my own business as a wedding planner. It was something that had always
I’m a people person, so this is my dream job
played on my mind because I enjoyed organising the company conferences and knew I could do it. Despite spending a fortune on advertising, I found it difficult to get the business off the ground and, eventually, I gave up. I then did some research into becoming a celebrant. I’ve always believed in doing everything I can to the best of my ability, so when I realised I could get a celebrant qualification from the National Open College Network, I immediately joined the course.
Over the next three months, I completed intense online modules, classroom seminars and assessments. I learned everything from how to talk to families at difficult times to structuring funerals, weddings and baby namings and writing and delivering eulogies. At times, I did doubt whether I was doing the right thing, but my husband encouraged me to keep going and reminded me that I’d conducted my father’s funeral service well.
I did my first funeral in March 2016 and my first wedding a month later. The first ones are the most nerve-racking, where you feel like a rabbit caught in headlights, as you realise no matter how much exams prepare you, the real world isn’t as straightforward.
Since then, it’s been plain sailing and I’ve conducted more than 500 ceremonies. Being able to help a family, especially at their lowest ebb, is satisfying. But what I love most is being around different people and each ceremony being unique, which means I’m constantly surprising myself.
I’ve had cards, letters and emails from couples and families saying, ‘Thank you,’ or ‘We couldn’t have done it without you,’ which is lovely. The most heart-warming comment was from a bride whose wedding I’m doing this year. She said, ‘I know when I walk down the aisle, you will be my friend standing waiting for me.’
When I was a CEO, I had to maintain a certain persona and that person wasn’t really me. I’m warm, welcoming and a people person. Everything that makes me a good celebrant, I had to put to one side as a CEO, so it feels great to finally be myself and embrace my personality. I’ve found my dream job, and I’m so much happier because of it.
• my-wonderful-wedding.com