TALKING TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT MONEY

Money could well be a tricky topic to discuss with your partner. You may feel that your internal financial compasses are pointing in different directions, yet the taboo nature of money could make this a conversation you’ve avoided having for years.

I find that the older you are, the more likely you are to leave dealing with money matters to your partner. Their help can come from a place of love – indeed, you may have willingly relinquished the worry and stress to them. However, it can also stem from a desire to control, and being totally dependent on someone else to manage your money for you carries the risk of financial abuse. Furthermore, there are sound biological reasons why women need to have a firm grasp of their money situation – we are likely to outlive our male partners. One of my closest friends runs a successful business with her (slightly older) husband and had a health-related wake-up call during lockdown. If he became seriously ill, how could she carry on if she didn’t know the first thing about their finances?

Think of money as an ongoing conversation; it’s not something that you’re going to ‘get done’ in an afternoon, but it’s definitely something you should set aside time for.

My husband and I have a storage box labelled ‘Financial Sh*t’. It contains our wills, our life and health insurance policies, details of our professional advisers and an ‘asset register’ setting out where our savings and investments are kept (you might also want to consider using a digital password vault). Eventually, we will add our power of attorney documents to the box (yes, this is a job we know we need to do but have been putting off for ever!).

It might sound morbid, but each element offers a learning opportunity for you both to explore your joint financial picture. Importantly, our adult children also know where the box lives – and I reminded them of this before I attempted Scotland’s longest zip line last summer!