‘I’m immensely proud of what Siân and I have achieved together’
Emily, 47, lives in south London with her children, Daisy, 19, Olivia, 17, Eloise, 16, and George, 13, and is a street trading manager at Notting Hill Carnival.
When I was in the last weeks of carrying my fourth child, my sister-in-law, Vicki, told me that Siân’s final planned round of IVF hadn’t worked and that her only option was egg donation. I felt really upset for her. I knew Siân and Ian would be the best parents. So, I said to Vicki: ‘Why don’t I give them my eggs?’ Those eggs would be payback for my luck at having four children.
From that second, I’ve never questioned my decision. In fact, I’m immensely proud of what Siân and
I have achieved together.
I’d met Siân numerous times at Vicki’s home. But our lives took different paths. When Siân was in her 30s and had just ended a long-term relationship, I was in my 20s, married and looking forward to my first maternity leave. By the time Siân and Ian were newlyweds, I had three kids.
When Siân came for lunch to discuss our special plan, I saw her looking at the pinboard of photos in our kitchen. I thought, ‘It will be really awkward if she now decides my DNA isn’t for her!’ But we had a great chat over the meal, and merely weeks after having my son, I met Siân at a clinic off Harley Street for health checks and psychiatric analysis.
I had to go through part of the IVF process, injecting hormones to increase egg production before they were collected. We both had our periods stopped then restarted at the same time. The hormones made me feel bloated and just a bit uncomfortable, but Siân and I were in constant contact via text. Two mates doing the same thing and keeping each other going.
The eggs were then turned into embryos – and this is the point when I stepped back. Siân was very clear that they were my eggs but her and Ian’s embryos. I’m not normally unemotional or logical but I respected this. Devastatingly, the process didn’t work the first time. I was so sure it would, it was such a blow. I suddenly had a glimpse of the highs and lows that those struggling with infertility go through.
The day before we realised the second attempt had worked, I received the most beautiful letter from Ian. He wanted to let me know how much they appreciated what I had done, regardless of whether it resulted in a successful pregnancy.
We’d agreed that I’d visit the newborn twins. But when Siân sent me photos of the babies from the delivery room, I was completely taken aback. They looked like mine. I knew then that I couldn’t visit for a while. Overstepping was a risk I didn’t want to take. I explained my part to my kids and my then husband, and I took them to meet the girls six months later. It was a perfect day.
We’ve all met up sporadically since, and on Mother’s Day or after a lovely day on the beach with her girls, Siân might text. And then our lives go on.
I see photos of the girls on social media – they do look so much like my children, but they also don’t. They feel like nieces, and I hope that’s okay.
At my 40th birthday party, my brother had written the most incredible speech and included a line acknowledging what I’d done, but my mother asked him to take it out to protect Siân’s privacy. Yet when he finished his speech, Siân stood up to tell the room how I’d helped them and what it meant. She had all the women in tears. It’s exactly what I’d do: have a glass of wine, get emotional and thank someone special. So those eggs have gone to my doppelganger! Molly and Trilby are part of a very happy family and I’m thrilled I could be a part of that.