DON’T GET HER STARTED... ON POKEMON GO
Last week, Pokémon GO blew into my life like a cool breeze on a hot day, an unsolicited holiday romance, a haircut that isn’t what you asked for, but looks better than you dreamed. I went from ‘Why is the whole internet randomly talking about Pokémon?’ to ‘STOP EVERYTHING, THERE’S A JIGGLYPUFF!’ in a little under one full day of walking ’n’ playing. Pokémon GO sits on my iphone, mainlining joy into my world; making me feel that thing everyone says they feel after having kids: I know I had a life before it – I just can’t really remember it.
Because the world is, at this moment, divided into two groups – those who are batshizzle kray about Pokémon GO, and those who’ve heard about it but don’t fully understand and are feeling left out and incredulous. Let me explain; it’s a GPSbased treasure hunt that obliges you to leave your home and wander the streets looking for cartoon monsters; at which you chuck magic balls. And it’s brilliant.
The ways it has brought me joy are myriad. Like on Friday night, when I got caught up in a group of 12-year-old boys, all wandering around in hectic circles (like I was), their phones extended, trying to snare a Zubat (my life is suddenly full of words like Zubat). We fell into easy chat. ‘I can’t get the Zubat!’ I squealed. ‘The lady can’t get the Zubat!’ one shouted. Then: I got the Zubat! ‘I’VE GOT THE ZUBAT!’ I yelled. ‘THE LADY GOT THE ZUBAT!’ they rejoiced. We hustled off to a Pokéstop (to stock up on magic balls) and would have gone on… Only the lady remembered she had a Pilates class to go to.
Then, on Saturday morning over coffee, my friend E and I had earnest conversations about which Pokémon training team was best. (‘I went with Mystic,’ E said. ‘It’s the most cerebral.’) On Sunday, I declared the game ‘a little glitchy right now’, then thought: get me with the lingo! On Monday, I screamed ‘motherf**ker’ at a Wild Jynx evading capture. I was in the middle of Oxford Street, surrounded by real (non-cartoon) people. I did not care.
I could go on. I will (Pokémon) GO on. This is a fad: one that will pass, though not before it enables easy-picking phone theft and people chasing Pokémon into the path of oncoming traffic/off cliffs… But I like it. I’ve surprised myself with it. It has shown me I’m not the person I thought I was. I am a gamer. I am a Pokémon trainer.