The Bataclan: one year on
On 13 November 2015, IS terrorists attacked Paris’s Bataclan concert hall, the Stade de France, restaurants and bars – leaving 130 dead and hundreds wounded. One year on, three victims talk to Grazia about life after the worst attack in France’s history
Dear sweet Leonore, I write this letter for you to read when you are ready to hear about the 13th of November 2015.
Right now, you are a tiny baby. You arrived three weeks early and are sleeping before Mummy’s eyes.you’re perfect and I already love you so much.
A few months ago, Daddy and I were trying to choose a name for you. After many we didn’t agree on, we found your name and knew it was perfect.
Leonore: shining light. That’s exactly what you’ve brought us: light, after a time of great darkness. You see, a year before you were born, Daddy and Mummy bore witness to a terrible event where many people were hurt. Some are not here today, but they were wonderful people. It could have easily been your mother or father who lost their lives that night and that’s why, my beautiful daughter, you really are a miracle.
I didn’t think after the attack I’d ever feel true happiness again, but at 00:53 on Friday 21 October, when you were born, I felt it. It was the happiness that makes life worth living, worth fighting for. My heart swelled when you entered this world and both your parents cried with joy. The only moment that could come close to the euphoria I felt was when I was reunited with your father after believing I had lost him forever.
I vow to protect you as best as I can from the evil in the world. I want to make this world magical for you. I want you
THERE WERE REPORTS THAT HE’D BEEN TRYING TO SAVE OTHER PEOPLE. THAT WAS NICK; HE WAS AMAZINGLY LOYAL
to be able to see the beauty and if, God forbid, you are ever in a situation like your mother was in, that you can feel what I felt: love.
At that point, I was ready to say goodbye to my life because I had fulfilled life’s purpose: to love and be loved. And this is thanks to my family, friends and all the great people in my life. In the last two weeks, those people have come from afar to see you, to hold you, to love you and, together, we will provide you with the best life possible.
Life isn’t perfect and there will be times where you will be faced with hardship, but I promise you, if you prioritise love and let go of all the little things that will bring you down, you’ll be just fine. That’s the essence of a good life. It’s really that simple, my girl.
I can’t wait to watch you grow into a strong woman. I can’t wait to see what you become. I can’t wait to love you every day of your life.
Thank you for bringing me back hope, happiness and a heavy heart full of love. I love you with all my heart.
Mummy
‘NICK’S DEATH WASN’T IN VAIN’
Nick Alexander was the sole British victim of the Bataclan attack. He worked in merchandising and was touring with the Eagles of Death Metal. Here, his sister Zoe, 43, talks about the brother she lost – and how his death, at just 35, is changing lives. That night last November, I was watching TV when my parents called to say something was happening at the Eagles of Death Metal concert in Paris. Nick’s phone wouldn’t connect, so we rang the British Embassy and also watched as the situation began to unfurl on social media. In the early hours, we got a call confirming our worst fears: Nick had been killed. He had bullet wounds to the chest and stomach, and there were several reports that he’d been trying to save other people. That was absolutely Nick; he was amazingly loyal. We found it hugely comforting.
My brother and I were very close; he was my cheerleader. He was so funny and a brilliant friend. Growing up, I was very much the big sister and always trying to educate him musically. Although Nick was free-spirited, he loved being at home with us. Even now, we still think of ourselves as a family of four – it feels like he is away on tour.
Our hearts are with all of those in Paris who have gone through the same tragedy as us. That solidarity is so important. A year on, we’re moving forward as a family, but only because we haven’t held on to any anger or bitterness. There’s no point, because the end result would still be the same.
After he died, we set up a memorial trust in Nick’s name to provide musical equipment to disadvantaged people. Music was his passion and he loved people. We have also organised a concert in London on 15 November, called A Peaceful Noise, to commemorate the first anniversary. Musicians Nick knew over the years – including Gaz Coombes from Supergrass, Frank Turner, Maximo Park and Fran Healy from Travis – are all playing. We want the gig to be a celebration, and to show we won’t be cowed by what happened.
I still think of Nick all the time. He’s part of my being. To have his life extinguished in that way was a huge waste, but going forward we can do everything possible to make sure it wasn’t in vain. Visit thenickalexandermemorialtrust.com and apeacefulnoise.com
‘YOU WILL NOT HAVE MY HATE’
Antoine Leiris, 35, was at home with his baby when his wife Hélène was murdered at the Bataclan, aged just 35. His defiant Facebook message to his wife’s killers – ‘You will not have my hate’ – was shared thousands of times and became the title of his heart-rending memoir. The Facebook post was only meant for friends and family. I typed it exactly how I thought Hélène would want it to be. The words came to me on my way back from seeing her at the morgue. After two days of hope and fear searching hospitals in Paris, it was there I’d finally found her. She was as beautiful as when she left for the show on Friday night, as beautiful as when I fell in love with her 13 years ago. For one precious moment, it was like getting her back. Afterwards, as I drove to our son Melvil’s nursery, I decided the men who did this can’t have my hate. If I let hate enter our lives it will take over and destroy them. It will fill every space, every morsel and every pleasure and I can’t let that happen. I never expected it to go viral and didn’t know it had spread around the world until journalists started calling the next day. The book is different. I have chosen what goes in and it has helped to bring boundaries. I just wanted to write things as they were. There’s the public part of the story that I’ve chosen to share and the rest is just for me and my son. ‘You Will Not Have My Hate’ by Antoine Leiris (£10, Harvill Secker) is out now