School of thought
Seeing relatives, eating a lot and having an excuse to sit in PJS all day. However, I have begun to slightly dread it. I live with anxiety and manage it well most of the time, but the forced conversations in confined spaces seem to trigger worse and worse
eleanor says:
My friend, we are singing from the same hymn sheet. For all its bacon-wrapped, steadying-yourself-on-the-kitchencounter-with-a-midday-prosecco-headrush glory, Christmas can be a ripe old recipe for anxiety. I have a vivid memory of seeing my mum open the patio doors one year when my siblings and I were small and completely giddy, taking gulps of cold air. I get it now.
Even for the most mentally robust among us, the combination of forced social interaction, cramped rooms, weird eating times, booze, noise, mess and family dynamics (special mention for those prying relatives you only see once a year) can be a challenge. Our individual comforts and conventions are thrown into disarray, made worse by the pressure to perform, conform and be joyous. For someone with an anxious disposition, the pressure gauge swings even higher.
You know how to manage your anxiety well most of the time. That’s brilliant. Use your strategies and resilience here. Start by shelving the ‘in theory’ bit and accept that you find Christmas tricky. You have time to mentally strategise a bit. Some people go to the supermarket with a shopping list; others don’t. In other words, it’s perfectly OK to have a plan.
For me, and perhaps for you, too, feeling that I can’t get away flicks the anxious switches. But, of course, we can get away – we just have to make the choice to prioritise ourselves in the moment.
Claustrophobic? Realise that no one, really, is going to mind if you go for a walk. (Maybe you need to ‘phone a friend’? I often do.) Distraction is good, too. Offer – no, insist – on doing jobs. Peel potatoes. Tidy up. Exercise the dog, if there is one. Go to bed when you want to. Do a 10-minute iphone meditation on the loo. If booze makes you feel worse, say, ‘No thanks.’ See what I mean? We get so bogged down with what we think we should be doing, or what we think others think we should be doing. Make this the year you listen to yourself. Merry Christmas.