Chart of lust
WHO we’re loving and living for this week
1 UP SIMONE BILES US gymnast, Olympian of extraordinary abilities. Stands up for things. Wears a leotard better than anyone we know ( including Wayne Sleep. Yes, we said it. We dared.)
2. UP JENNIFER LOPEZ’S LOPEZ’ ABS Behold the glory! Also? These are our new ab goals (Abz Goalz) and we will not rest, nor lay down our head between crunches, until we look like this in a crop top!
3. NON- MOVER DAVINA MCCALL’S ABS Unless these are our new Abz Goalz? We’d be happy with either Abz. (Davina’s were unleashed last week on the occasion of her 51st birthday, BTW.)
4. NEW IN THE ENTIRE CAST OF THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE THEY ARE SO FIT. We know this isn’t the main point of the programme terrifying the ass off social media, but they seriously are.
5 NEW IN HOWARD GREENBERG Aka BBC Two’s Last Chance Lawyer NYC,
defender of the disenfranchised and underprivileged, proponent of the best look the legal system has ever, ever seen.
6. UP ALEXANDER SKARSGÅRD Actor, now starring in The Little Drummer Girl, which might be good (we don’t know, haven’t watched it); point is: he’s right up our sexy Scandi-alley.
7 NON- MOVER DORIA RAGLAND In polka-dot pants, smiling in the aftermath of the pregnancy announcement. We also note that she, like daughter Meghan, is carrying folders (/clipboards) portentously. A family trait?
8 NON- MOVER TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET In floral Alexander Mcqueen! It’s as if he heard us saying he needed to do fabulous things to stop us associating him uniquely with the Peach Incident ( google it), and complied!
9. NEW IN THIS KOALA Aka The Casual (Kasual?) Koala of Taronga Zoo. It didn’t give a damn about an audience with Haz and Meghza, kept right on munching its eucalyptus.
10. NON- MOVER LOUIS THEROUX The indelible secret Chart of Lust we carry with us always in our heart features Louis’ name, high. Right here, right now, we honour him for forthcoming doc series Altered States.