‘Girls should learn about orgasms in sex education’

Outspoken Labour MP Jess Phillips talks to Lisa Williams about why we need to close the ‘orgasm gap’ once and for all

As one of

the co-founders of The Hotbed podcast, I was delighted when Labour MP Jess Phillips agreed to support our campaign to close the ‘orgasm gap’, a term that refers to the disparity of orgasms between men and women. The Hotbed recently launched a survey to chart women’s experiences of orgasms following research by the Kinsey Institute that discovered only 65% of heterosexual women, 66% of bisexual women and 86% of lesbians ‘usually or always’ orgasm during sex.

Considering that those figures compare with 95% of heterosexual men, we thought they seemed unfair.

The MP for Birmingham Yardley agrees, saying it’s vital we talk about female pleasure more, not just among our friends but with our partners, too. ‘ We should be telling girls about orgasms during sex education,’ she says. ‘I’m not suggesting we go into schools and teach children how to masturbate; I’m suggesting we talk to them about the things they’re doing anyway. Women’s expectations should be greater. We have to start demanding more.’

Jess told me she’s always felt comfortable talking about sex because she grew up in a household where it was discussed openly. ‘ When I was quite young, my older brothers had girlfriends who’d be staying overnight so my parents would talk to us about it. I wasn’t frightened to tell my mum the first time I had sex.’

Now 37, she says she owes her political career to their laidback attitude. ‘I’ve made a career out of being able to talk about difficult things, and that comes from growing up in an environment where nothing was embarrassing, where you didn’t have to be afraid to talk about things. There was no Victorian stiff upper lip.’

That she grew up in a ‘naked household’ is not surprising then, or that she often walks around naked at home today. ‘It’s mainly laziness. But I think wearing clothes in bed is weird. Why would you get dressed to go to bed?’

Jess believes education about correct anatomy, healthy relationships and how to feel comfortable with your body is vital, not just so that children can grow up to have happy relationships, but also because it will help create gender equality and stop endemic violence against women.

‘ To liberate women and end violence is to break down the culture of power imbalance between men and women. Let’s stop people feeling ashamed,’ she says.

She is open with her two sons, 10 and 14, about sex. After all, she was a key campaigner for a school reform that will make sex and relationship education compulsory in all secondary schools from 2020. Let’s hope the reforms go on to educate a future generation on how to be better equipped to close the orgasm gap. The Hotbed podcast episode with Jess Phillips goes live on 7 November. You can listen via itunes or Spotify, and take part in the survey by following @thehotbedcollective on Instagram