How Generation Abstinence forgot to have fun
ANOTHER WEEK, another slew of studies suggesting we’re turning into a bunch of teetotal celibates. First up, The Lancet medical journal published figures last week showing Brits are drinking 10% less than we were in the ’90s, with experts believing this is driven by many young people choosing not to drink at all.
Not only are we shunning the booze, another study last week showed we’re not making time for sex, either. What an era to be alive! According to the paper published in The British Medical Journal, sex is on the decline in Britain, particularly among married and cohabiting couples. Fewer than half of men and women have sex at least once a week now.
So what’s going on? At university, we constantly regaled each other with scandalous sex stories in booze-fuelled games of Never Have I Ever. Doing it with your boyfriend on the sofa seemed prudish when most of your peers had christened the park/clubs/lecture theatres. Similarly, a few years ago, it would generally have been assumed that you were either pregnant or on antibiotics if you ordered a soft drink. Now, a booze-free bar has just opened in Dublin, the Guinness capital of the world.
Perhaps a lack of Dutch courage goes some way to explaining why we’re not having much sex any more – all those awkward, fumbling Brits fearing to initiate it without the crutch of alcohol to lean on? And does this mean we’ve turned into Generation Abstinence? Because I definitely didn’t sign up to that.
Professor Kaye Wellings, who led the study on sex, told journalists that the decline in our sex lives coincides with the introduction of the iphone. In an era when we are all on our phones, day and night, there may be just too much going on to get around to having sex, she has said. As the study put it: ‘Most compelling among the explanations, perhaps, given the age and marital status of the people most affected, relates to the stress and “busyness” of modern life, such that work, family life and leisure are constantly juggled.’
Clinical psychologist Linda Blair says we’re all working on such conflicting schedules that we don’t leave enough time for each other. ‘We used to work 9-to-5 – now work patterns are completely different,’ she says. ‘We create fewer opportunities to spend time together and that’s a big problem. You have to set time, otherwise it won’t happen.’
As for the sober brigade, she suggests the economy is to blame. It’s true the cost of living is so high there’s not much left over after you’ve paid off your education and sky-high rent or mortgage (at least now’s the time to offer to get the drinks in: it’ll be a cheap round). It’s also thought that we’re so into self-improvement, we’re shunning alcohol because it disrupts our exercise regimes and doesn’t fit into our ‘clean’ diets. And no one wants a compromising picture to end up on social media.
We live in such a hyper-connected world, rarely switching off, that it’s easy to realise we’ve spent more time on our phone than out with friends... or in bed with someone. But, whatever turns you on, be it an Aperol spritz, Virgin Mary, a night on the sofa or a morning spin class, let’s not be the generation that’s too busy for fun.