THE NEW SOCIALISING

The virtual dinner party isn’t the only video call on offer. Here are five others to brace yourself for, says Hattie Crisell

The work meeting

Prepare to be confronted with your colleagues’ private lives and a glimpse of your boss’s husband’s ‘loungewear’. Revel in the freedom of brainstorming while not wearing a bra.

The parental chat

It’s a lifesaver to be able to talk to parents online – but would be better if they were both in frame. Instead, you see your mum from the chin down, standing behind your dad, who’s leaning with his head out of view. Both are shouting, although they will soon accidentally mute the mic.

The virtual date

You’ve never met IRL, but you’re taking this romance from Hinge to House Party. You put on your sexiest top (but stay in your trackie bums). Unfortunately, his dodgy Wifi is no good for your sexual connection, with jokes having to be repeated three times before anyone laughs.

The BFF get-together

You and your five besties have settled on your respective sofas for a group chat. Six bottles of wine are on the go and it’s exhilarating to be ‘together’. But don’t expect to actually catch up when two of you are coughing; one is trying to breastfeed; one is coaxing a child back into bed; and you’re all talking at once.

The reunion

It’s impossible to get your uni/ school/first-job friends in one place – you gave up trying years ago. So now’s the moment to reunite the gang via a video chat. Suddenly, you’re remembering why you liked them so much in the first place. Savour it – you won’t meet again until the next pandemic.