‘I’m still £19k in debt but I don’t want to hide any more’
As Clare Seal exclusively reveals herself as the woman behind the anonymous financial Instagram account @myfrugalyear, she explains why Millennials need to be more honest about money...
it was around this time last year that Clare Seal realised she had reached breaking point. She and her husband Phil had £25k of credit card debt and a maxed-out £2k overdraft. Their income had dropped while Clare, who was working as a brand manager at an interiors company, was on maternity leave with their second child and she had gone into an unarranged overdraft.
Her bank called to ask when she would be able to sort it out. ‘At that point, I realised, I’m not in control of this any more,’ she says. ‘I was angry with myself and felt I needed to do something there and then, so I set up an Instagram account, almost like a punishment, so I could be held accountable.’
The account, @myfrugalyear, which chronicled her attempts to take control of her finances, get out of debt responsibly and offer advice struck a chord with other Millennials who had money woes. Her voice was refreshing in a world where finance and investment still feels so maledominated. She kept it anonymous, afraid of the negative connotations around debt. ‘The shame element was so massive I didn’t want to put my own name to it. Also, I didn’t think anyone would care.’
Within months, though, Clare, now 30, had thousands of followers. A year on, she’s up to 44.4k – 97% are women. ‘Watching your followers go up is bizarre, but it was
also the influx of hundreds of messages from people saying, “I really thought it was just me,” or “This is me but I haven’t told my husband.” Some told me, “I earn a six-figure salary but I’m in this much debt and I’m terrified and bad at money management.”’ Clare had felt alone in her troubles, but the response to @myfrugalyear opened her eyes to a whole community of (largely) women in similar situations.
When we consider the gender pay gap, maternity discrimination and the fact we are more likely to do unpaid care work than men, perhaps it’s not surprising the bulk of her engagement comes from women. ‘Women are at an economic disadvantage and we’re targeted by advertising. A lot of women feel caught in this comparison thing and that there’s something wrong with us and we need to buy stuff to fix it.’
Now, as she publishes her first book: Real Life Money: An Honest Guide To Taking Control Of Your Finances, Clare has decided it’s time to reveal her identity – and she’s doing so exclusively in Grazia. ‘It feels like time. The whole message I try to give to people is that there isn’t anything to be ashamed of. If you’re anonymous, you’re sort of perpetuating the idea that it’s still something to hide.’
It’s true the conversation needs to be more honest: we share our deepest thoughts on sex, love, work and health with friends, but when it comes to what’s in our bank accounts, we’re reserved. Clare remembers the text she first sent her friends revealing her financial situation to them – and they had no idea. ‘When I read it back now, I see I was trying to say, “I’m still the same person. Please don’t treat me differently,”’ she says. They didn’t and, since starting @myfrugalyear, she’s had frank discussions about money with friends and her husband.
Clare’s money problems started around the time she got married in 2017 and her children, who are now five and one, started childcare. The wedding cost around £20k and they ended up putting £12k on credit. On top of that, moving house four times in five years, as well as rental deposits and childcare costs, meant the debt rose to £25k.
‘It was the wedding that ramped things up, and then moving house, buying furniture and then Instagram and being tempted by the “Insta-perfect life” I suppose,’ she adds. ‘When your whole feed is “Insta perfect”, it’s easy to feel like you’re the odd one out,’ she explains. ‘For me, it was interiors. For some people it might be fashion. There’s a whole world of things to spend money on, and sometimes it’s money that you don’t have.’
Then there’s NCT and the school playground. ‘It’s a comparison thing. You compare yourself online and in real life and, if you feel you’re lacking, for me, my first instinct was, “What can I buy to make up for that shortfall?”’
When they realised how much debt they were getting themselves into, she says it was easy to paper over the cracks. ‘We were keeping the same lifestyle and not really talking to friends and family about it.’
Today, the couple are still a long way off being debt-free, but they’ve paid off the £2k overdraft as well as £6k from their credit card, and hope to clear the remaining £19k by mid 2021. They try to repay £500 to £1,000 a month. ‘It’s about finding something that’s achievable,’ advises Clare. She’s come this far by getting savvier with budgeting and cutting down on what she’s bought for herself and the house. Even so, she warns against a deprivation mindset. ‘Like diets, if you deprive yourself of everything enjoyable, you’re setting yourself up to fail,’ she says. ‘We could pay it off quicker if we stopped ever having anything new, but at what expense?’
The unprecedented shock of coronavirus is likely to blindside anyone living in a financially precarious situation. As the pandemic jolts the economy, it brings with it severe worries for several industries. ‘Very few people will have enough “rainy day” savings to deal with a situation like this,’ she says, ‘so it’s really important not to blame yourself if you feel financially vulnerable or unprepared. Don’t be disheartened if this hampers your progress with paying off debt or saving – these are unprecedented times.’
Clare’s message not to beat ourselves up is so important in a world where our finances aren’t fully in our control: she points out wages have stagnated since 2008, house deposits feel unattainable and so, naturally, we feel unmotivated to save.
On top of this, she feels there’s more of a stigma around women being in debt. ‘This perception that women are more frivolous has got to stop. Even if that were true, we’re the ones who are targeted [by ads] selling you an aspirational dream and we’re not being paid as much over the course of a lifetime.’ She says she’s been targeted by debt resolution companies on social media who use predatory language like, ‘Do you want to be a better mum?’ ‘They play on emotions,’ she says. Her message is simple: be realistic and be aware not all debt is bad.
‘If it’s planned and in your control then it’s absolutely fine,’ she says. It’s not even about necessarily getting down to zero. ‘It’s about being aware, knowing what’s going on, not being scared to open your post and being in a good headspace with it,’ she says.
Of course, she has days where she wishes she was free of it, but she’s relieved to be able to be honest now. ‘My mission is to normalise debt and get rid of the shame.’ ‘Real Life Money: An Honest Guide To Taking Control Of Your Finances’ by Clare Seal (£14.99, Headline) is out in May