‘We’ve coped with grief in different ways’
Youtube star and presenter Emily Hartridge was about to bring out a podcast with her three sisters when she tragically died last year. Now, they will release Sisters Uncensored in her memory
on 6 july last year, Emily Hartridge and her three sisters, Alice, Jess and Charlotte, had just finished recording their new podcast series and flung their arms around each other for a photograph (right). Dressed in colourful outfits, they were headed straight to London’s Pride parade. The music was loud and the atmosphere lively; Emily danced down Regent Street and shared the picture on Instagram. They didn’t know it would be the last photograph of the four of them together. Six days later, Emily was killed when the electric scooter she was riding was hit by a lorry.
Emily, who was 35 when she died, rose to fame eight years ago for her ‘Ten Reasons Why…’ Youtube series, which has had more than 140 million views. She is the first person in the UK to have died in an accident involving an e-scooter.
During a year of unimaginable grief, the sisters haven’t been able to listen to the podcast they recorded. But, to mark the first anniversary of her death, they have chosen to release Sisters Uncensored, a project that Emily led, and record two further episodes in her memory.
‘We haven’t been able to face it until now,’ says Alice, 32. ‘But we felt like now would be a poignant time to see the project through for Em.’ Charlotte, 38, adds, ‘It feels therapeutic.’
In the seven episodes recorded before Emily’s death, they discuss everything from masturbation to mental health. They shriek with laughter and affectionately interrupt each other; it’s like eavesdropping on a close family’s charmingly chaotic dinner.
‘The final two episodes will obviously be completely different,’ says Jess, 32. ‘They’ll be about grief.’ Alice and Charlotte recently listened to the old episodes, but Jess hasn’t been able to. ‘I know if I hear her voice now, it will break my strength,’ she says.
‘I was worried about it because we’ve only just started being able to look at photos of her and hadn’t heard her voice yet,’ Charlotte says. ‘But it was actually so lovely to hear. You can trick yourself into thinking that she’s still here – although that’s not necessarily a good thing.
Listening back, I could vividly see her facial expressions when she said certain things.’
When Emily became a social media star the sisters found it bittersweet, as she was struggling with her mental health at the time. ‘If she was going through a tough time, she’d be really open about it,’ says Alice. ‘At times I said, “I don’t think you should be sharing that.” It was her and the camera the whole time, and sometimes I just wanted her. But it also turned her life around. There was a point when she was checking herself into rehab and didn’t want to live, but it gave her an outlet and a focus.’
The sisters have learned that they cope with grief in different ways. Charlotte needed to find out every detail about the accident, whereas Jess and Alice didn’t want to know. Alice, whose son is eight months old now, was pregnant at the time and feels she hasn’t had the space to mourn properly. ‘It’s like I’ve been surviving for my son,’ she says. ‘My body almost didn’t accept it had happened. It’s something I need to work through. I’ll start therapy after lockdown.’
The day they recorded their final episode and went to Pride was, in fact, the last time they would all hang out together. ‘I’ll always remember how we had such a fun day,’ says Jess. It’s clear Emily’s energy, quick wit and candour lives on in all of her sisters, not to mention the advice and wisdom that she passed on to them. Charlotte struggled with her own mental health in 2019, and Emily helped her through that difficult period with techniques to focus on the present. ‘Now, whenever my thoughts are spiralling, I have her voice in my head and she’s really taught me how to cope,’ she says.
It’s difficult to know how to mark an event as devastating as a sibling’s death but releasing the podcast a year on feels significant for them. Jess is going to take over from Emily as lead host. ‘It was Emily’s baby and she was the driving force,’ Jess says. ‘Because we know how much the podcast meant to her, it means more to us than ever now. So we’re going to give it a go, Emily, and I hope we do you proud.’
The ‘Sisters Uncensored’ podcast is released on 12 July