I didn’t click with my NCT group and I want to find other mums like me. But where do I begin?

Anna Whitehouse, aka Mother Pukka

You are not alone. I have one friend from NCT, Bettina, who admitted to the group that she’d used too much Veet on her pubic hair and her lady garden looked like a plucked chicken. I was the only one who laughed and I remember wondering if it would be just Bettina and me from then on. But don’t underestimate the isolation most mothers feel, regardless of the show we sometimes put on to get through the day. I have often looked away from smiles in soft play, assuming they weren’t for me when perhaps they were.

I met one of my closest friends in a playground by sidling up to her by the slide. It was the single most awkward advance I’ve made, but we’ve now held each other crying after a day of refused broccoli and Igglepiggle demands. But not everyone wants to heavy breathe by a stranger’s shoulder until they relent. I’d also advise the Mush app; it locates mums in your area and you go on dates to see if you click. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s always good to get out of the house with the life appendage and, you never know, one day you too may meet a woman whose pubic area looks like pre-packaged poultry. @mother_pukka