Your post-lockdown survival guide

At last, we’re coming out of hibernation. Hannah Betts gets you prepped and primed

AND WE’RE BACK! Soon. Almost. Don’t look now, but the end to Britain’s third and – please, God – final lockdown is in sight. Other countries may be facing the dreaded third wave but, here, spring should herald our first tentative steps towards normality. Still, this will very much be a new normal. After more than a year of fear and selfisolation, our great return to the world will feel oddball, de-skilled, our social abilities as dodgy as our hairstyles. How will we greet each other/not burn out too soon/ function? Happily, here at Grazia we have all the answers…

INTERACTION

People, places, things – whaaat? As the dog walkers among us will know, it’s been strange merely seeing people’s faces close up, observing their moving parts, looking them in the eye. It will be all too easy to go from overstimulated to overwhelmed, meaning we must treat ourselves like the social toddlers we are.

DO acknowledge the weird brilliance of seeing the people you love. Wallow in it. There will be tears – merely typing this makes me cry.

DON’T disregard other people’s boundaries. Social distancing is still in place and, even when it isn’t, many still won’t feel open to hugging, cheek kissing or the terrier-like humping of legs. Others may not be ready to see people at all. Don’t take it personally and don’t emotionally blackmail anyone to go at your pace.

CONVERSATION

Gossip, chit-chat, witty repartee, even bogstandard talking – remember those? There hasn’t been much room for small talk when events have been so big. Even Oscar Wilde types may be feeling a tad shaky.

DO note down entertaining topics on a scrap of paper. You don’t have to consult it, but it’ll assuage any anxiety that you’ll dry up (a closet introvert, I do this all the time).

DON’T whinge – everybody’s had a sh*t time. Moaning is an especially bad move among shell-shocked healthcare workers who will now be having to treat all the non-covid backlog.

DRINK

Easy tiger. True, a lot of people have built up pretty impressive booze resilience over these past long months: the stress of lockdown measured out in so many swimming pool-sized wine glasses. But, no one wants to celebrate the return to freedom with a psychopathic drunk.

DO enjoy yourself. This is what we’ve been waiting for; we’re allowed to go a bit wild.

DON’T drink so much you start licking people’s faces, pole dancing the patio heaters and wind up in A&E.

FASHION

Oh, fashion, we have missed you; style, you have been lacking. Dressing is crucial to morale, ornamentation, human culture. It’s how we communicate with each other, articulate our very selves. Let’s take the insouciance we’ve learned during lockdown and combine it with wit, verve, panache! Go shopping in your wardrobe: your old clothes will look new after a year ferreted away. Mend, polish, restyle! And allow yourself a lockdown purchase, even if it’s merely a jewelled hairgrip. Goodbye, slob life. Come, let us dress ‘up’ up and away.

DO put some thought into stealth layering and blanket scarves. Post-pandemic life will continue to be park life, pub-bench life, a back-garden existence.

DON’T return to being complicit with the worst aspects of fast fashion. The pandemic proved an enforced palette cleanse. Let’s buy clothes consciously, respectfully, joyfully; not on some crazed, noveltyseeking auto-pilot.

GROOMING

Everyone will have a beauty thing they have been pining for: hair colour, bikini waxing, having sky-scraping lashes applied. For me, it’s a pedicure. Book your thing now.

DO remember to be polite. Yes, you want your hair done/talons painted/spots squeezed, but so does everyone else.

DON’T hug your hairdresser. Beauty workers are in contact with a lot of people, putting them at risk. Show your love by tipping lavishly and booking your return visit.

SANITY

Coronavirus has changed us, as a society and as individuals. It presents an opportunity to do things differently, better. However, it will also represent a hole in our lives that’s never going away. There will be enormous excitement on our release from captivity, but also grief, loss, a collective mourning for people, prospects and things. Many will struggle financially, mentally. When my parents died, one shortly after the other, life taught me the axiom: ‘Whatever you’re doing, it’s the right thing.’ Deal with this how you need to deal with it. If you want to hurtle right in – do it. If taking baby steps feels right, knock yourself out.

DO keep an eye on yourself and those around you.

DON’T berate yourself.