The new wedding etiquette
Wedding season is here – but so are new rules. Sophia Money-coutts has the lowdown…
ding dong! as of now, up to 30 people are allowed to gather in posh frocks (remember those?) and suits to overdo it on the espresso martinis all over again. Like many things (the high street, our hair, life as we know it), weddings won’t look exactly as they did pre-pandemic. The congregation may be in masks, canapés will be greatly curtailed and you won’t be able to grind up against the father of the bride while the DJ belts out Sex Bomb. But, hey, it’s still a party. Here’s what you need to know.
I can’t keep up. What’s actually allowed?
Until now, it’s been micro-weddings of only 15 people (including the bride and groom) and an outdoor reception. As of now, 30 people can come together, indoors or out. The bride and groom don’t have to wear a mask during the ceremony but, if indoors, guests do. If the reception is inside, everyone has to be masked unless they’re sitting down to eat. And from 21 June, all restrictions on numbers may be removed.
I’m a bride who has to cut back on guests. How do I uninvite friends?
Listen, some people will be delighted to claw a weekend back to themselves. Plus, they don’t have to buy a present. Bonus. For more sensitive friends, consider calling or emailing to explain and say you’re looking forward to celebrating with them separately at a later date. If they take it badly, claim that your other half ’s family is so huge they almost take up all the numbers themselves.
I ordered my wedding dress for our original date way back – now I hate it!
Hmmm, a tricky one. Speak to your dressmaker early because they may be facing a backlog themselves from postponed weddings, especially if certain elements of your dress, such as lace, are coming from abroad. Do not bury these worries in the hope that you’ll simply ‘come round’ to it.
I’ve been invited to a wedding but I’m nervous about mixing. Can I get out of it?
Mention your hesitancy to the bride or groom and they may be thrilled to offer your place to someone else. Alternatively, remember that venues are legally obliged to do everything possible to avoid the spread of germs – one-way bathroom systems, for example and ‘hygiene stations’. Because nothing says romance like the smell of anti-bac mingling with chicken vol-au-vents.
Talking of which, what can we eat?
Sadly, trays of canapés won’t be circulating. Instead, staff may serve guests once they’re seated or from buffet tables but behind screens, as if queuing up for school dinners. Alternatively, dole out bowl food (Harry and Meghan had bowls of risotto at theirs), or some wedding planners are suggesting food trucks, so guests can’t breathe all over dinner. Drinking will likely continue as normal, which means you’ll be quite pissed before sitting down and forget about trying to stay two metres from others. At the very least, try to remember which glass is yours.
Will there be speeches?
Yes, sorry, speeches are still allowed so long as they’re ‘undertaken outside or in wellventilated areas’. More softly-spoken sorts may need a stool and a megaphone to reach those social distancing at the back.
But presumably dancing is off ?
Apart from the first dance, all dancing is technically banned, although I’ve heard rumours of silent discos being deployed to allow everyone to dance in their own two-metre bubble. Wedding planners are advising an extended ‘cocktail hour’ after dinner to make up for the lack of Tom Jones.
Anything else banned?
No confetti or bouquet-tossing, since they increase the risk of transmission. The use of photo booths should also be ‘minimised’ – perhaps no bad thing if it means you won’t wake up the next day to 274 embarrassing pictures of you in a fake moustache.
Can’t we just elope?
Might be easier, yes.