‘Revenge bedtime procrastination’ gets the royal seal of approval

ONE OF THE more astonishing details to emerge from the recent hospitalisation of the Queen was not her energetically packed professional diary of meet-and-greets. It was HM’S slightly more relatable habit for boxset bingeing. It would appear that the royal TV menu is officially rammed. The Sunday Times reported recently that Her Maj was feeling ‘knackered’ after staying up until all hours watching telly – she is rather surprisingly a devoted Line Of Duty fan. At a historical moment when the royal family has barely been in more need of positive PR, Her Maj pulls one out of the bag. Despite its luxurious trappings and exquisite finishes, the royal bedroom would appear to be closer to yours and mine than we mere subjects might once have assumed.

Relatable, much? Such is the condition of not being able to switch off a particular TV show when caught in the middle of it, there is now a psychologically approved phrase for Elizabeth R’s apparent nocturnal habits: ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’ (RBP). We like to think of RBP as Binge+. That fateful inability to measure out a TV show in digestible lengths. Who can’t relate to getting to episode four of a new favourite show at 11pm, promising yourself you’ll do one more maximum before snoozing and ending up flailing toward 4am with a season finale in sight? This is clearly not just you. Binge+ now has royal seals of both approval and alarm.

Part of this is due to the habit-forming pathways incumbent in the golden age of television and the availability game that streaming services have played on our senses. If it’s there, why not watch it? Not enough hours in the day to plough through? Turn them to night! Another factor is that old keeping-up-with-the-joneses neighbourly competitiveness. Who wants to be the only party in the conversation without a bon mot to add on your favourite – or leastloathsome – Roy sibling in Succession?

The final factor in the great early hours Binge+ takeover is our compulsion to make stay-at-home time as thrilling and eventful as possible. The family homestead used to be the place to switch off. Now it is fully switched on – an entertainment palace that we’ve learned over the last two years to turn into a replacement for nightclubs, festivals and the big screen. Less commute time means more hours in the day. More hours in the day means more TV. With lockdown hovering ever closer to the microphone on Boris Johnson’s eternal lectern of doom, the Queen is simply legitimising a habit we’ve all grown used to. In years past we simply watched The Crown. Now we act like it.