‘I was desperate to get Nazanin home for Christmas’
AFTER 21 DAYS of a hunger strike, the potential for organ failure increases dramatically. That’s what Richard Ratcliffe faced in November, having starved himself on the doorstep of the Government’s Foreign Office for three weeks straight.
Richard has been protesting the detainment of his wife, Nazanin Zaghariratcliffe, since 2016. A British-iranian mother of one, Nazanin, now 42, has spent five years in an Iranian prison on spurious espionage charges after what Amnesty International referred to as a ‘grossly unfair’ trial. The former project manager, who worked for BBC World Service Trust, was released in 2020 but detained once again in April this year – sentenced to another year in prison for charges of spreading propaganda against the Iranian government. She has always denied all charges.
Richard says she is being used ‘as leverage for a debt owed by the UK over its failure to deliver tanks to Iran in 1979’, a debt acknowledged for the first time in September last year by Defence Secretary Ben Wallace. In a letter to Richard, and the families of other British citizens detained on similar charges, he said the Government would ‘explore every legal avenue for the lawful discharge of that debt’. But progress has since stalled, the Government claiming that paying the debt would breach international sanctions and put the bank responsible for transferring the money in danger of fines. Richard has been pushed to extreme lengths to demand action.
‘A hunger strike is not a thing to do flippantly, it puts a huge strain on the whole family,’ he told Grazia. ‘The immediate trigger came when Nazanin got a new sentence. I couldn’t get the Government to do anything. When I spoke to Liz Truss – the Foreign Secretary – in April, she was saying, “Nazanin is still a top priority and if she’s put back in, there will be consequences.” But I’ve heard all that before. So I thought, “If you’re not going to react, I have to react.”’
What followed was three weeks of physically torturous protest – made worse by the fact that COP26 was dominating the headlines, leading few to report on his dangerous stand. ‘I remember thinking, how long am I going to have to do this for before anyone notices?’ says Richard. ‘By day 12, it was getting really hard and there was pressure to end it, that was emotionally tough. But, towards the last week, we got a huge outpouring of care and concern.’
Then came a meeting with Middle East
Minister James Cleverly, which Richard describes as his ‘lowest point’. Despite having put his life in danger, he was still hearing words with little action. He saw the same apathy in Boris Johnson, who walked past Richard’s protest without saying a word. By Saturday of that week, the strike was too dangerous to continue.
There’s been no ‘major complications’, he says, having spent a week attending hospital checks. ‘The dangerous bit is when you stop because your body has slowed down,’ he explains. ‘But I’m feeling better, and relieved emotionally – Nazanin is a lot more relaxed now.’ The public concern for Richard has led to increased demands for political action. Former Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt has suggested flying a ‘crate of cash’ to Iran instead of using a bank transfer, something Boris Johnson said was ‘worth considering’. But in the days since, MPS have been told not to reference the debt. Labour MP Tulip Siddiq was warned by parliamentary clerks that mentioning it could prejudice court proceedings involving the legality of what is owed.
‘I was outraged that the Government want to supress debate even after five and a half years,’ Richard told Grazia. ‘It’s notable that even in Jeremy Hunt questioning the PM, he didn’t commit to a timescale. If they were close to bringing Nazanin home, they would not be playing these games.’
AS CHRISTMAS TUNES eke their way into our ears and the shops fill with tinsel, are you feeling the tingle of stress at the thought of creating a Christmas that lives up to everyone’s expectations? Do you find yourself trawling the internet or the aisles, seeking gifts for teachers and aunts you’ve not spoken to in years? While the kids are counting down the days to Christmas, are you counting down the days until calm resumes?
If so, that’s understandable. A study published in The Lancet last month found mental health deteriorated sharply in 2020, with an estimated 76 million extra cases of anxiety globally blamed on the pandemic, and women and young people more likely to be affected. And we haven’t bounced back as restrictions have eased, with many women feeling the WFH boundary-creep, as well as being more likely to be in customer-facing or caring roles, which increase Covid-related stress.
But, before we write off a festive effort totally, deep breaths. A few gentle tweaks to your mindset could help you fight the festive people-pleasing urge and find a way to emerge from the Christmas season feeling good. Here’s how…
STOP WITH THE ‘SHOULDS’ Christmas is littered with traditions and shoulds. ‘I should send cards, I should invite the grumpy uncle, I should buy everyone gifts despite my bank balance.’ Christmas can feel like a minefield, finding you putting more energy into pleasing others rather than considering what you actually want and need. So, question the ‘shoulds’ and the traditions. Traditions need only be kept if they are serving you. Consider whether you must do all the things you feel you should and sidestep some of them in order to help you walk into 2022 with your cup a little fuller.
NARROW YOUR GOALPOSTS
Instead of spending the next few weeks burning yourself out to meet everyone else’s festive expectations, maybe it’s time to consider what you need from this time? What are your Christmas stress points? Is it thinking about hosting, or cooking or buying gifts? Could you head to a pub on Christmas Day instead of sweating over a hob, or opting for Secret Santa instead of buying for everyone? Where we place our expectations for the weeks ahead will be the difference between lying under the tree in an exhausted heap and actually being able to embrace and inhale the joy.
NOTICE THE GOOD TIMES
In the frenzy of Christmas, I like to remind myself that ’the magic is often in the moment’ as it prompts me to find something in the present that brings me joy. It might be the smiling face of one of my kids or the warmth of a radiator alerting me of my privilege. Gratitude is an invitation to notice the good things that sit alongside the mess, the stress and the hard. It widens our vision and enables us to feel the joy that is there for the taking.
DON’T GIVE IT ALL AWAY
Keep some leftovers of this special time for yourself. And I’m not talking about a plate of sprouts, but instead the energy and enjoyment of the festive time. If you’re the organiser, ensure you ringfence a little something for yourself too. Remember that just as a car needs fuel to drive, you need nourishing to be able to keep giving. Consider what refuels you – is it an online yoga class, a chapter of your favourite book? A walk with a great podcast on? Prioritise those things.
PAUSE BEFORE ACCEPTING
Post-lockdown, our socialising muscles haven’t fully regained strength yet, so a full diary can lead to exhaustion more quickly than it did pre-pandemic. Before you reply ‘yes’ to an invite, consider your week and how you might be feeling energy-wise. If you need to say ‘yes’, try adding a ‘but’. ‘Yes, please do come over. But we are having some family time from 6pm.’ Saying yes with limits decreases the chances of you feeling exhausted or resentful. Visit themothermindway.com for Anna’s video guide on How To Have A Merry Imperfect Christmas, £10. Instagram @annamathur