PLUS, LOVE ADVICE FROM THE MAN WHO MARRIED HER

Jay Shetty is a former monk, author, podcaster and worldwide sensation making wisdom go viral

I’m a sucker for weddings in general, but of course it was incredibly special IRU PH WR EH LQYLWHG WR RƱFLDWH DW -HQ and Ben’s ceremony. The event itself was surreal. It was so beautiful, so intimate and personal. If you were there and witnessed that, there was just no doubt about how much love exists between them.

As for how to make love work for WKH UHVW RI XV WKH ƮUVW DFWLRQDEOH VWHS I suggest in my new book, 8 Rules Of Love, is to spend time in solitude, where you can nurture love with yourself. Then, when it’s time for a relationship, you’ll be able to relate better to the other person because you know how to relate to yourself.

When it comes to dating, one of the biggest mistakes we make is assigning too much value to chemistry. Instead, go deep and follow my three-date rule: over three dates explore whether this person is truly a good match for you by asking meaningful questions. Because if we want love to last, we have to be intentional about it from the start.

Loving in the long-term means staying curious about one another. Over time, we can start to see our partner as a foregone conclusion, instead of someone who is growing and changing, just as we are. But when you’re a part of each other’s growth and you stay engaged in real time, you don’t grow apart from each other.

I don’t think all break-ups should be avoided. Sometimes, splitting up is the best way to love one another, because you’re truly not working any more. That said, one of the best ways to avoid EUHDNLQJ XS LV WR ƮJKW :H PLJKW WKLQN the ‘best’ couples don’t argue, but no matter how compatible a couple are, WR OLYH LQ FRQƯLFW IUHH EOLVV LVQOW ORYH it’s avoidance. The key to long-term ORYH LV WR ƮJKW ZHOO

‘8 Rules Of Love’ by Jay Shetty is out 31 January (Harper Thorsons)