‘We can still find joy in the world after sexual violence’
When author Winnie M Li tweeted about being raped 15 years ago, she never dreamed it would go viral…
IT WAS MEANT TO be a quiet and contemplative day for me. Every April, on the anniversary of my rape, I go out for a commemorative walk in nature on my own. Because 15 years ago, while I was on a solo hike, I was followed by a stranger, severely beaten and raped.
But I survived. In time, I rebuilt my career, found love, even became a mother. So, each year, I walk to remind myself how far I’ve come in my recovery – and that the world still has so much to offer.
This year, on my 15th anniversary, I was blessed with sunshine as I climbed a hill near my home. I took photos of spreading vistas, close-ups of primroses and early bluebells, then a sunken door in a stone wall. Later, I met my family at a country pub for lunch. It was a quiet celebration, but no less meaningful for me.
That night in bed, I posted those glorious springtime photos on Twitter, along with some thoughts on the anniversary of my rape. I got some immediate comments and replied to a few, before turning off the light.
By the next morning, 2.3 million people had seen my tweet – and the numbers were climbing. Thousands of people had re-tweeted my thread.
Beyond my shock, there was an unexpected warmth in the kind outpouring of messages from strangers around the world. Some women professed their joy in solo hiking, posting photos from their latest walks in nature. Others shared stories of their own assaults, while some expressed the fear that kept them from enjoying nature on their own. One survivor actually read my tweet on the sixth anniversary of her own rape while travelling. Another woman had, that very morning, walked with her daughter in the Belfast park where I was raped. There was serendipity in the timing of the tweet, but also solidarity in the sheer numbers: the fact that it resonated with so many women around the world.
These are the traces we leave for each other, as women and survivors: the stories we share, the paths we illuminate. Because in the difficult years immediately after my rape, I found a lifeline in the writing of other survivors. I remember thinking: if they could come out the other side, then perhaps so could I. And if I could do the same for others, then I would.
As soon as I was able to, I started writing about my experience, the way it has shaped me and continues to shape me. My first novel, Dark Chapter, was published nine years after my rape, and my latest, Complicit, came out last year. In both of these books, I ask: how can we move through the world as women seeking adventure and fulfilment? Is it with fear and the memory of past trauma? Or with joy and hope? I believe the answer is both.
By now, 6.5 million people have read my tweet and I continue to get comments from as far afield as New Zealand, Canada and India, all strangers touched by my story. I imagine that is the long tail of impact – not just of trauma, but also of speaking out. You never know who you might reach. ‘Complicit’ by Winnie M Li, published by Orion Fiction, is out now