Live without regret and love who you want to
LOVE. It’s the most complicated feeling and aspect of human life. It is so painful, yet so excruciatingly craved by us all.
It makes us act crazy, stupid, silly, it makes us weep, scream; it makes us numb. But through all of that pain and silliness, comes an indescribable type of joy, an indescribable type of feeling for one person.
Love is the one feeling in life that every single person tries to find.
But what if the idea of love and the idea of a partner society has promoted is different to the love that you find interest in? What if you aren’t accepted for who you love?
For many people in homosexual relationships, this is exactly the case. Being in a relationship for them involves potentially sacrificing friendships, family relationships and reputation. It involves expressing who they are in an elaborate and scary way. Their sexuality needs to be announced like this because it is so against the norm. It has been deemed by parts of society as ‘unacceptable’ and unlike loving the opposite gender they have to ‘come out’ and with that give an explanation to the world, a label. They must put a label on their love interest, just because it isn’t ‘normal’. Centuries ago, being homosexual was a sin. Although society has evolved from then, those men that have come out as gay for loving another man, and those women that have come out as lesbians and those others who have come out as bisexual for loving both genders, are treated as though they are a disgrace to the world. We are all rushed into finding love, yet we are sometimes discriminated for feeling it. The insults and slurs given to people STILL in the 21st century is ridiculous, and the hate crimes that are STILL happening to homosexual couples is shocking. We have fought so hard for equal rights for centuries, yet when it relates to a relationship with the same gender as one’s own, it is frowned upon. Why is it so bad to love someone? It isn’t. It isn’t at all.
My view is that you love who you love. Just as we like certain people, and some we really don’t, this is the same. Not everybody, unfortunately, will share that opinion, and that can be frustrating and most of all upsetting.
However, something to think about is that, as a child we learn how to be independent. This independency we are taught means that at the end of the day, your life and decisions shouldn’t concern anybody else but YOU. If you love your same gender, then as you have been taught this is an independent action – thinking and acting for yourself. This I realise is harder for those whose families are more traditional in their thinking. If that is the case, it can be more of a challenge. It is never easy disagreeing and having disputes with family, but once you are an adult and have moved out, etc, you mustn’t let how they view your relationship define your life. You have to do what feels sustainable, and what makes you happy. Otherwise, you’ll live in regret of what you didn’t do on your deathbed, of who you didn’t love. It can feel controlling enough living in this cruel society, so adding the extra weight of people’s opinions and pleasing others is next level. I think if you find yourself in a situation where you are not accepted for your preference of gender in a relationship, you have to remember who comes first. It will always be you.
Shout-out to my amazing friends of the LGBTQ+ community who have allowed themselves to be who they are, despite not being accepted by everybody. I’m so proud to know you all!
It shouldn’t have to be brave. But I think with the challenges faced for homosexual couples that are still so large, allowing yourself to be who you are is truly a praiseworthy achievement.
So the moral of this article is to be who you want to be. Love who you want to love. You can’t please everybody, and one day we ourselves will accept that truth.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are not accepted, you have to remember who comes first. It will always be you.