Renovations are not going to plan
With the changing season, Margot and Jerry launch in to
renovations once more…but all doesn’t go to plan
Iknew it couldn’t last, dear Reader. I must have tempted fate with too much talk of calm descending over the farmhouse because the floodgates seem to have opened and life has gone back to its usual comedy of errors. We seem to attract a whole host of minor disasters and farcical scenarios without even trying.
It’s lucky that Jerry and I have developed a serious sense of humour as you simply couldn’t make it up sometimes!
Take our lunatic cockerel for example. Giving Winston a home seemed like a good idea at the time. Think of the little chicks we could have, I remember saying. No one warned me that a few weeks later we’d have a strutting tyrant on our hands with the ability to morph into something out of Jurassic Park, attacking everyone and anything. No one was safe. For a noisy bundle of feathers, he was surprisingly stealthy before he launched himself at you, ready to draw blood. After a few months of trying desperately to fix or re-home him and spending a ridiculous amount of time asking advice on poultry keeping forums (who knew there was such a thing, dear Reader?), Jerry got his wish. Coq au vin for supper! I’ll save our neighbouring farmers’ blushes by just saying how grateful I was for their help. No one needs to know about the Benny Hill style sketch which ensued whilst they tried to apprehend our feathered fiend.
From cockerel chaos to corroded pipes - as you know we’ve been taking a little break from renovations on the farmhouse over the summer to enjoy time with family and friends. It’s been a welcome change from builders’ bottoms I can tell you. However, now that the autumn is here, it’s time to focus on getting jobs done before winter. Cue Operation Clear the Attic Space. As missions go, we thought that this one might be more straightforward, but when has that ever been the case at Margot and Jerry HQ?
Installing insulation proved rather more than we bargained for when we found one of the water tank pipes in the attic had completely worn away over time. No one can say for sure how long it had been leaking but suffice to say it was enough to soak rafters, beams and what little insulation was left that wasn’t the original straw, which was used to make the attic draught-proof once upon a time – a lucky escape from a collapsed ceiling waiting to happen.
Emergency plumber drafted in, I hoped that would be it for the attic related calamities. However, the house had other plans, dear Reader. In the space of a few hours, to add to the corroded lead piping (if only we were playing Cluedo), our two burly installers battled with a couple of loose cannon hornets as well as accidentally scooping up two bumblebee nests and unearthing a miraculously intact copy of the Daily Mail from 3rd October 1923. Sadly no gold or hidden jewels but the front page news story featuring a certain moustached politician by the name of Hitler on the rise to power will be framed for posterity and hung in the downstairs loo. You’ll be glad to hear that no bumblebees were harmed in the making of this latest caper either, dear Reader. A local bee man rescued them under the cover of darkness and they have now been re-homed to a nearby copse.
All in a day’s work you might say, dear Reader. I dread to think what will happen when the chimney sweep comes next
‘No one warned me that a few weeks later we’d have a strutting tyrant on our handswith the ability to morph into somethingout of Jurassic Park’
Read more: You can read Margot’s blog at margottriesthegoodlife.com and follow her antics on twitter @margotgoodlife.You can also find out more about Margot on her profile at hampshire-life.co.uk