The only thing straight is his fictitious banana

FROM very reliable reporting, his house master at Eton said that our subject believed that he ‘should be free of the network of obligation which binds everyone else’.

His boss at The Times sacked him for dishonesty. His Conservative Party leader sacked him for lying to him.

He invented the ‘straight banana’ and other fictions to discredit the European idea.

He claimed no memory of the seven times he said in 2016 that 70 million Turks were planning to move to Britain.

He embarrassed The Queen by proroguing parliament illegally. He forced his ethics adviser to resign when he judged malpractice on the part of a close colleague. He condoned his senior adviser’s journey to Barnard Castle during lock-down.

And now he was at a business meeting not a party – I’d like to see the minutes of that meeting! Who is he?

Steve Barrass By email