MARK-FRANCIS HAS A GOSS
The Mayfair millionaire talks to Samantha Wood about Holly Willoughby, hangovers and his “otter” collection…
There’s nothing we love more at heat than a good bit of celebrity gossip – it’s our MO, after all – so we’re champing at the bit today. We’re spending the afternoon with Markfrancis Vandelli, who we know has a good handful of choice celeb pals. Not only are there all of the Made In Chelsea lot (from the reality show where he found fame), but there’s Holly Willoughby – who we’ve seen him partying with numerous times – and supermodel Kate Moss, who Mark describes as a “very dear friend”.
This could be Swarovski crystalencrusted interview gold. Except Mark has been bought up frightfully well and – as we start to pry into how much booze Holly likes to guzzle on a night out, and whether Mark would like to reveal any of Mossy’s deepest, darkest secrets – it appears that dishing the dirt on one’s friends is really not the done thing.
Because as much as Mark likes the limelight (he appears quite comfortable in front of our photographer, admiring himself with the kebab we’ve given him), he’s also extremely private. “Privacy is the most important thing you can value as a human being,” he tells us, explaining why he would never, ever sign up for anything as “ghastly” as I’m A Celeb, like his good friend Toff. Which is a crying shame, because there’s nothing more we’d like to see than the terribly polished twenty-something (revealing your age is also apparently uncouth) son of a Russian princess gobble a plate of witchetty grubs.
But all is not lost, because Mark isn’t so private that he won’t be seen on telly ever again. He’s here to tell us about his new show, Mark-francis’ Big Night Out, which sees him go on various nights out, learning
how to dutty wine [a Caribbean dance], spit bars at an MC night and dance around handbags with drag queens. And if scoffing a huge kebab is the closest we’ll get to seeing a side of the Chelsea millionaire we never dreamt existed, we’ll take it… How was learning to dutty wine for your new show? I’m not so sure I had to learn how to do it. I was exposed to a considerable amount of said “dutty wining” and then decided – as is often the case in a situation of despair – to throw oneself in head first and attempt to partake. We bet you were a natural… No. I was not a natural. I’m fascinated with the diversity of ways in which people have fun and enjoy themselves, and I feel that over the course of the last month, it’s all been eye-opening. One lesson I learned is that you can, with the right people, enjoy
almost anything. Was there one thing you would never, ever do again? Yes. I would never EVER go into a room that masquerades itself as a pub, but that is, in fact, a place in which people perform what is commonly, I’m told, known as death metal. That I will never allow myself to do again. Not a fan? I mean, I can’t describe it. It was just the most discombobulating experience. On every level. You were pictured out partying with Holly Willoughby for your birthday... [Cuts in.] No, actually. She was at mine. We didn’t go out. Oh, right. How do you know her? I really can’t tell you how I know her, but we spent a really fun time together in St Tropez this summer, as she was staying with friends of mine. She’s really charming. Who can handle their drink better? Both – and neither of us! Are you used to seeing her a bit sloshed? No, no. I think she’s someone who’s got a great deal of selfcontrol, because of the job she does and having to get up early. Every morning she is capable of being professional at all times. What’s your drink of choice? It depends on the time of day, and it depends on the season, and it depends on my mood. OK, let’s say a Saturday night in the run-up to Christmas… Before dinner or after dinner? It makes a big difference. Before dinner… OK, before dinner, I would have a whiskey sour. Then, after dinner, I’d have a Negroni. We’re rather partial to a Negroni before dinner… So, then you would be at dinner completely smashed. Is that right? Well, yes, ideally. And during the meal? It really depends on what you’re eating. But it’s generally wine. Or even Champagne – I’m a bit vulgar like that. When was the last time you were horrifically hungover? Now. Really? What did you get up to last night? I went to my dear friend’s mother’s birthday, which was great fun. She’s divine. What is your fail-safe hangover cure? A big greasy breakfast? I don’t really eat breakfast. No, it troubles me. I suppose that the cure is to just get on with it, as is the cure for most things. Look past it and get on with your day. Which celeb friend of yours would you say is the most fun to party with? I don’t have any celebrity friends. What does a “celeb friend” mean? Well, you’re friends with Kate Moss, right? Well, Kate Moss is a great person. Kate Moss is a lot of fun. She is the most charming company. She’s engaging, she’s as interested as she is interesting – which I think is a great quality – and you know that if you are ever at a party with her, you will have
a great time. Can you tell us how you met her? I met her at a weekend at Longleat House and we had adjacent bedrooms. So invariably, there were a few very late nights. Has she ever cooked you dinner? She has not. No. Is she not really much of a cook? I wouldn’t know. It’s said you have a net worth of £2million. That actually doesn’t sound very much... I have no idea what my net worth is. I really would struggle to imagine how anyone would come up with a net worth for someone they know absolutely nothing about. What do you spend most of your money on? Objects and furniture from the 18th century. Mostly French, but sometimes Italian. I think the environment that you surround yourself with is very important, so I try to curate that. And I love otters and jewellery. Otters? No, I said watches. Otters are not a particular love of mine. Not yet, anyway. Although I do know people with beautiful otter coats, but that’s another story. You’ve been named one of Britain’s best-dressed men in Esquire. What do you put on first – socks or pants? [Thinks.] My underwear. And where do you buy your underwear. M&S? I buy my underwear in Italy. Why are Italian undies so special? Just because I buy a lot of
my clothes in Italy, and if I don’t buy them there, then I will get someone to make them for me. I have a clothing line, so I make my own clothes. Do you own a onesie? I do not. But I do know what one is, because Halloween has just passed and I’ve seen innumerable ghastly people in them. what do you wear to bed? It depends where I am. I might wear pyjamas, I may not. [Gives heat a sly smile.] would you ever shop in Primark? [Thinks for a while.] No, because I feel that it is totally overpopulated, and I’m not very good in confined spaces. I’m quite claustrophobic. when did you last cry? I can be an emotional person, but I like to keep my emotions to myself. Do you get emotional at the John Lewis Christmas ad? I don’t have a television, unfortunately, so that isn’t something that happens. why don’t you have a telly? Because I think they’re ugly. Physically ugly? Yes. You could hide it in a cabinet… A friend of mine has one behind a Canaletto [Italian artist] with a remote control that makes the painting go up and down, and I think it’s the most ugly thing ever. Look, if I want to watch anything I just watch it on iplayer. will you watch toff on i’m A Celeb? No, and I don’t know what she was thinking going in there. So, we won’t ever be seeing you in the jungle? [Looks horrified.] I would not even open an email that suggested anything like that. Even today, my agent sent me an email about
Celebrity Big Brother. Is anyone going to be doing my hair in this house? No? Then, no. what are your Christmas plans this year? I’m going to Barbados with friends of mine. In fact, I think Holly [Willoughby] and her husband might be there, too. what’s at the top of your list? What do I want? World peace, of course. What else? when do you put up your tree? I don’t put a Christmas tree up because I find that it is something mostly for children. I think it’s tacky. I put up garlands. what is the worst gift you’ve ever been given? I’ve been given so many terrible gifts, but thankfully one doesn’t judge one’s friends by the gifts they give. Recycled gifts are the ones that offend. Say if someone “accidentally” gives you Chanel No 5 as a gift, because someone gave it to them but they don’t want to wear it – that is offensive. You’ve admitted to having a memory like a sieve... Yes, unless I’m really interested in actually remembering something. Can you remember what my name is? You didn’t introduce yourself. i did… Oh dear. Can you remember which magazine this chat is for? Yes, I can. The hot one. [Smiles.]
‘i don't have a television at home, because i think they are ugly’