Queen Liz: ‘Screw this crap, fetch me my crown!’


WHERE? The Lex­i­con shop­ping cen­tre. WHAT? Be­ing Her Royal High­ness has its perks, not least the chance to hit the shops af­ter hours, away from the pry­ing eyes of bud­get-seek­ing shop­pers. But more of­ten than not, Queen El­iz­a­beth II finds her­self hav­ing to grin and bear it while pre­sented with some truly heinous fash­ion of­fer­ings. But­ter­flies on a beret? How very vul­gar.

SO? Luck­ily for her, she hap­pens to own the Crown Jew­els of the United King­dom – so she went home and threw a tiara on. Much bet­ter.

“Off with these heads”

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