‘I wish I Could Be Harry Styles for a Day’
The writer/actor/comedian tells Boyd Hilton about his festive TV specials, meeting Cher and working with Jen-an
Iwish I could clone myself,” says David Walliams, during lunch with heat in the corner of a lush London restaurant. “So, one clone of me could write my books, and another could act in films and TV shows.”
Those children’s books have become such a phenomenon and are so treasured by young readers, that they clearly take precedence these days when it comes to David juggling his myriad projects. But that hasn’t stopped the annual David Walliams Christmas TV Takeover taking full effect again this year. As well as Sky One’s one-off adaptation of the classic Sue Townsend novelThe Queen & I, in which he plays a fictional Prime Minister who decides to scrap the monarchy, there’s also a BBC1 version of David’s own novel The Midnight
Gang, which he helped adapt, as well as playing the role of an evil headmaster. There’s also the small matter of a forthcoming Netflix film in which he stars with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. His eyes light up when we bring up that subject. But first, the regal element of Christmas With Walliams…
Is your version of the British prime minister in The Queen & I based on anyone real, like Tony Blair or David Cameron?
Well, the book was written in the early ’90s, but the person it’s most like is Jeremy Corbyn, because it’s about a very left-wing Republican prime minister getting into power and promising that he’s going to get rid of the monarchy. Then, to his surprise, he is elected and now he has to go through with it. So, there’s a slight flavour of Jeremy Corbyn in the role – there’s a slight sense of geography teacher about the character, and I do have a beard in it.
are you worried the Queen might be offended by the whole idea?
Well, this is a comedy fantasy, so I don’t think so. There have been so many on-screen depictions of the Queen now, though. But I wonder if she ever gets used to that. It must be weird for the Queen to see her own life depicted in huge depth in a show like The Crown. Imagine watching that if you are the Queen!
You’ve met the real Queen a few times, haven’t you? What is she like?
Well, we’re not best friends, but we are very, very close. [Laughs.] She was very nice to my mum and she knew about the Thames swim, so that was nice. I met her and the Duke of Edinburgh during a reception for Comic Relief with Lenny Henry, and the Duke said to Lenny, “You’re not even on TV any more, apart from those hotel adverts!” That made me realise the royals are watching ITV and not on catch-up, because they clearly watch the ads.
You’ve also got The Midnight Gang coming up on BBC1. You do like to make a splash during the Christmas TV period, don’t you?
Well, I hope people don’t get sick of me – but yes, we’ve got The
Midnight Gang, which is about a group of children trapped in a hospital who create a secret gang to make their dreams come true. For example, one of them wants to go to the North Pole, so they recreate it in the hospital freezer room. Alan Davies plays a kind of Quasimodo hospital porter figure, and I’m a wicked headmaster who falls in love with the evil matron.
You were Robbie Williams’ guest at Judges’ Houses on The X Factor. How was that?
I love Robbie. We’re mates and he’s always really fun to hang out with. He’s selfdeprecating, and a real family man these days. I really like spending time with him, so it felt quite natural. Originally, I was supposed to be Simon Cowell’s special friend at Judges’ Houses, but then he decided he wanted, like, 100 special friends at his house, even though he actually has no friends. So, I thought, rather than just be one of 100 people at Simon’s house, I would rather be Robbie’s one special friend.
How did you respond to people saying that you weren’t qualified to be an X Factor judge?
Well, that’s absolutely right! [Laughs.] I know absolutely nothing about music. I like to listen to pop music. But, having watched it avidly for years, I have always wanted to be on The X Factor. I don’t know why. I kept thinking, “How can I be on it?” I was thinking of auditioning, but then I thought, “Oh, OK, I could be a random person at Judges’ Houses.” But Sinitta had that role wrapped up for a long time. She was there with the other 100 people at Simon’s, of course…
Have you been to Simon’s actual house, though?
Yes, I’ve been to the one in LA and it’s unbelievable. He’s got too much money and I’m not comfortable with it. I don’t like it.
Was it your idea to recreate the Take That video with you in your leather gear?
Yes. Although originally, when I was going to be with Simon, I was going to dress up as [his girlfriend] Lauren. And then we were going to ask Peter Dinklage from Game Of Thrones to play [Simon’s son] Eric. Some people thought that was a bad idea. I don’t know why… [Smiles.]
What have you made of Robbie on The X Factor?
He’s great. Robbie does take the role seriously and he’s very empathetic with the contestants. But when the moment takes him, he’s ready to be Robbie Williams the superstar, which is exactly what you want. His relationship with Ayda is incredible. They get on so well and really complement each other. Although, of course, I already do a TV talent show with my wife, Simon Cowell.
Oh, yes – are you back on BGT next year?
Yes. I have one more year, and then my contract is up.
And then what?
We shall see.
‘The royal wedding was my TV highlight of the year’
Doesn’t it seem like Simon is more human on The X Factor this year?
Yes, he is, and I don’t like it. He shouldn’t forget to be nasty when he needs to be, because that’s why people love him. We want him to say what we’re really thinking about the acts. Although he’s mean, he is also usually right.
And what did you make of Louis Tomlinson as a judge?
Louis dresses like he’s come round to fix my washing machine! But I think he’s good. He doesn’t come across as a big star. He’s sensible and full of good advice. I loved One Direction and I met them a few times. I often think, “I wish I could be Harry Styles just for a day.” He’s talented, good-looking… he’s got it all. I think the same about Leo Dicaprio. Imagine living his life for a day…
You’re doing pretty well for yourself, though. You’ve just made a Netflix film with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston…
Yes, true. The film’s called Murder Mystery, and I don’t think I’ve ever had a happier experience on a job. Adam Sandler is hilarious and he’s constantly improvising, making you laugh, playing funny music and dancing on set. It sounds like that might be annoying, but it’s not. He just wants to create a happy atmosphere, so everyone’s relaxed and can do their best. It was like he was hosting a party that we were all attending.
And how was Jen-an?
She is a dream. I was so starstruck, because she’s so, so famous. I was like, “Oh my God, it’s Jennifer Aniston. What do I say to her?” But she’s charming and lovely. Some of my friends were saying, “You should go out with her.” I think it would be a bit of a comedown from Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux. I wouldn’t wish that on her. But she was so friendly. And Luke Evans is also in it, and he’s a mate of mine. Oh, and Gemma Arterton, who is one of the most adorable people I have ever met, is also in it. And we filmed in Montreal for some of it, and we went to the Amalfi coast in Italy, and one night I’m at dinner with Jen and Adam. And oh, there’s Cher at the table next to us.
Amazing. Did you meet Cher?
Yes, at that dinner. Cher was with this jeweller called Loree Rodkin, who I know through Elton John. So Loree introduced me to Cher and said, “Cher, this is David, he’s a friend of Elton’s…” And Cher replied, “Thank you very much.” I didn’t know where to go with that. But the whole experience of making the film made me so, so happy. I’m playing a camp, posh Englishman. I’ve no idea why they thought of me! Obviously Jack Whitehall wasn’t available.
You’ve got your TV shows and your books and your Adam Sandler film – but is there one big ambition you’ve yet to fulfil?
Yes, I’d like to do a big movie version of one of my books. That would be a huge thrill.
Finally, what have been your highlights of the year?
Finding out Rita Ora had split up from her boyfriend. Oh, you mean culturally? Well, I saw Elton John at Madison Square Gardens and it was amazing. Seeing Russell Tovey in his underpants in the Pinter Plays was my theatrical highlight of the year. A woman behind me said, “Oh my goodness, his body is insane!” And my TV highlight was the royal wedding. It felt like a proper love match between Harry and Meghan. I didn’t enjoy Princess Eugenie’s so much, because so many people I know went to it and no one invited me as a plus one!
The Queen & I is on Sky One/now TV, Monday 24 December, 6pm