Million-dollar knees, bums and boobs – the weird world of celebrity body insurance
What’s the point of being famous if you can’t insure your boobs?
Insurance is important, people. (Yes, you’re still reading heat – this is not a Go Compare #ad). It may be a hassle, not to mention an annoying expense, but it’s good to know that, when the proverbial hits the fan, our assets are well protected. After all, what good is a house with a leaking roof ?
But while we’re over here pretending to be financial journos and haggling over renewal quotes, those celebs just have to go extra. Because they’re valuable beings, OK? With faces – or boobs, or bums, or legs – so famous, they require extra protection. Just imagine – God forbid – the apocalyptic horror of Kim Kardashian’s bum deflating, or Jennifer Aniston going bald… it’s just not worth considering.
That’s why the most prudent of the A-list set often take matters into their own, high-priced hands, and take out policies on choice bits of their famous bods. It may seem extreme, not to mention big-headed (do big heads carry pricier policies?), but think about it. If a footballer’s money maker is his right foot, it makes sense that he guarantees it – just in case he’s out for a few months and misses his multimillion weekly pay.
As with all celebrity crazes, the body insuring phenomenon kicked off in Hollywood in the ’40s, when pin-up actress Betty Grable took out a $1m policy on her legs. Since then, it’s become almost de rigueur for stars, like getting their gold facials or biannual colonics. For 20 years plus, Julia Roberts has been worshipped for her megawatt smile, so it’s no surprise that she insured her teeth for $30m.
Kylie Minogue’s bum, meanwhile, is an institution in itself. A $5m policy ensures that the singer’s got it covered in every eventuality.
Then we have Heidi Klum’s legs, which carry a $2m warranty. Fair enough, when you consider that a model without her strut is like the Queen without her crown – lacking in power and purpose. But make no mistake: even celebs have flaws and must be valued accordingly. That’s why Heidi’s left leg, which has a subtle scar, is actually worth less than her right leg. Yes, really.
This brings us to the complex matter of assessing an asset – a process that isn’t taken lightly. Lloyd’s of London is like the Chiltern Firehouse of the insurance world, the one port of call for celebs wishing to protect their bits from disaster. Jonathan Thomas, a specialist underwriter at Lloyd’s, works with VIPS on
a daily basis. Speaking to heat, he tells us it’s an exclusive process.
“The part in question needs to be of sufficient economic value to support insurable interest in its loss,” he explains (translation: it needs to be worth big bucks). “I need to know the financial justification, the health/injury status of the person, and what circumstances they wish to insure for. That information and my experience enables me to price the risk and to write out the breadth of cover I’ll give.”
According to Jonathan, the policies are normally paid annually and can be renewed. Or, in the case of a sportsperson seeking cover for a specific tournament, can run for a limited period. Sometimes, it’s the celeb themselves who personally take out the policy. Otherwise, it’s a record company or a film studio, seeking to guarantee their money-making star. Daniel Craig, for example, has his whole body insured for $9.5m while filming the Bond movies – because it’s always wise to protect your pecs.
In his time, Jonathan’s underwritten some quirky policies – like former Playmate (and Hugh Hefner’s one-time number one) Holly Madison, who insured her breasts for $1m. He also worked with Head & Shoulders to insure American football player Troy Polamalu’s hair for the same sum. His most costly policy? A $4m guarantee on a Dutch winemaker’s nose. Smells like success, eh?
It may sound extreme, but really, it’s one of the most sensible things a celeb – or anyone – can do (here we go again with the insurance lecture). Dancer Michael Flatley’s got some winning pins, so it’s only right that they’re insured for $39m. Musicians also need to safeguard their worth. Bruce Springsteen’s got his voice covered for $6m, while Keith Richards has his guitar-strumming finger (yes, just the one finger) guaranteed for $1.6m. But nothing comes close to David Beckham, who in his football-playing heyday saw his legs and feet insured for $195m. Take that, Heidi Klum.
While it may not be the sexiest of topics, insurance is an important part of life – and it may be ironic to think, but a celeb insuring their bits is far from silly. Who knows? Maybe soon we’ll all be heading to
Moneysupermarket.com to value our bums. Ours must be worth at least a tenner. n
‘insuring their bits is one of the most sensible things celebs do’