Heat (UK)

We reveal the results of heat’s secret crush 2020

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You might have thought the 2019 General Election was the most important vote in recent history, but you’d be wrong. It was, of course, heat’s Secret Crush 2020. In your thousands, you probed your deepest desires and consulted your burning loins to tell us who floats your less-than-convention­al boat. And, boy, did it yield some interestin­g results…

ALAN SUGAR

Have you all had the same dream where you’re opposite Lord Sugar in the boardroom in a negligée and he tells you you’re hired? Weird.

ANT MCPARTLIN

You lot just can’t have one without the other. If you fancy Dec, you’ve got to have a bit of a soft spot for Ant, too, right?

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

If we had the chance to be in the same room as this musical theatre virtuoso, we definitely would not throw away our shot. Sing to us in Spanish, Lin.

PRINCE WILLIAM

Once an undeniable pin-up, his, er, crown may have slipped a bit. But we’re still totally crushing on Prince Willy.

LEE MACK

Anyone who’s watched Would I Lie To You? will know Lee has the GSOH box well and truly ticked. And you lot can’t ignore a bit of classic Northern charm.

ED SHEERAN

We’ve loved Ed Sheeran since he was the singing kid in the scruffy hoodies, but now he’s an actual grown husband/ manly man and we’re here for it.

EAMONN HOLMES

The Irish charm is working at full throttle in the luscious Mr Holmes. If his and Ruth’s relationsh­ip is anything to go by, we want in.

ROMESH RANGANATHA­N

It’s hard not to have a soft spot for the hilarious, self-deprecatin­g, self-confessed mumma’s boy. Also – he’s an actual rapper. Seriously. Romesh ticks all the boxes.

RUPAUL

We never thought we’d end up fancying a 7ft Glamazonia­n drag queen, but here we find ourselves. And Ru has taught us that we can love anyone we want to.

JEREMY CLARKSON

Apparently, fast cars and thinning hair floats your boats. Just don’t order a platter of cold meat and cheese on your first date…

GREG SHEPHERD

He calls Billie Faiers his beauty queen, and he bowed to her desire for the most extravagan­t Maldives wedding we’ve ever seen. Greg is definitely a bit of us.

NOEL FIELDING

Now that Sandi Toksvig has left Bake Off, we can enact our plan to replace her and make this quirky Gothic prince our own little cupcake.

PHILLIP SCHOFIELD

There’s nothing like a classic silver fox, and there’s no higher calibre silver fox than This Morning’s Phil. We’d be happy to see his slippers under our bed.

PAT SHARP GREATEST HITS

We might miss the mullet, but we’re glad we still get to listen to Pat’s dulcet tones on the radio. We’d happily spend a night in his Fun House.

TOM GREEN KISS

Who wouldn’t want to wake up to this gorgeous face every morning? Sadly, we have to make do with hearing his beautiful voice on KISS.

DEC DONNELLY

In our many ups and downs with Ant, Dec has been our steadfast secret crush. And now he’s a dad, he’s also a firm choice for secret DILF.

LOUIS THEROUX

From sex clubs to American prisons, Louis has done an assortment of weird and wonderful things. Which is what we’d like to do with him.

GREG DAVIES

To paraphrase Bridesmaid­s, we’d like to climb Greg like a tree. There’d be massive laughs in store with this BFG.

LEWIS CAPALDI

If Lewis’ hilarious Instagram stories are anything to go by, the Scot could absolutely laugh us into bed. Love Island ’s Paige didn’t know what she was letting go.

BORIS JOHNSON

Plenty of us picked him in some other vote or other, so it’s no surprise a bunch of you had a guilty thing for him, sending our PM up to sixth place.

JAKE WOOD

It seems 2015-2018 were the Eastenders star’s prime years, but he’s sitting pretty in fifth place this year. We still Wood.

CLAES BANG DRACULA

Dracula is a deeply sexual character anyway (right?), but when the BBC got Claes Bang to play the iconic role this year, we went wild for some bloodsucki­ng.

JOE GOLDBERG YOU

Actor Penn Badgley has told us multiple times that we shouldn’t fancy his murderous character in the Netflix series, but we just can’t help ourselves. We could be your Love, Joe.

PRINCE HARRY

It seems, readers, you’d be willing to try long-distance for the love of not-really-aprince-any-more-or-ishe-we-don’t-really-know Harry, who has shot up to second place this year. Well, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

PIERS MORGAN It’s two years in a row for the Good Morning Britain charmer

How are you feeling after your second win? It makes me feel insufferab­ly smug. But I congratula­te, as ever, heat magazine’s very discerning readers on working out where truly great aesthetic and character quality lies. I do feel like this could be the birth of a really long and extended reign. What do you think your USP is? Honestly, I think it’s because the entire country is now infested with snowflakes, and women, in particular, are drawn to what they see as the antidote. I stand up for common sense, I don’t wear papooses, I’m not a vegan, I don’t think James Bond should be a woman or gender fluid. I think a lot of women – and I’m not ruling out an extensive male vote, too – but a lot of women see what used to be called a “real man”. But you can’t even use that phrase any more because that offends people. We’re sure you’re thrilled to know that Prince Harry came in second… [Laughs.] Oh, Meghan, you made such a mistake. That is really going to compound his hellish start to the year. He’s had to leave the country and give up everything that he likes in life, and now he’s lost out to me in Secret Crush.” Meghan’s going to be going, “Damn it, have I picked the wrong one?” Where will you keep your two awards? I’m keeping one in London, but I’m taking [the other] to Hollywood and I’ll put it in the bar of my Beverly Hills home. It can go next to my Emmy, which I won last year. To me, it’s right up there with the Emmy. Lots of people win Emmys, but very few people have won your Secret Crush award. I’m humbled – which is not a state I normally find myself in – that heat magazine readers have once again given me this award. I’m touched by the support, but I can’t say I’m surprised. ■

To see the award winner in action, tune into Good Morning Britain weekdays on ITV, 6am to 9am

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He wants his privacy. You want his privates
You shouldn’t have. Really He wants his privacy. You want his privates
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There almost wasn’t space to fit his rapidly expanding head
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 ??  ?? Celebrate with a vegan sausage roll, Piers
Celebrate with a vegan sausage roll, Piers

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