The ‘hard-to-impress’ mum
Her expectations of you are unattainably high and she wants to have a say in almost every area of your life.
ZOE SAYS: “If we can take a more practical look at our relationship with our mums across the board, it will help us understand who she is as a woman and it may also help us understand the way she is acting. Controlling behaviour might be a learned habit or a survival technique. To address it will depend on the specifics of your relationship. If that person doesn’t think that you have a right to your own thoughts or your own decisions, then obviously that conversation is going to be really tricky. Before you enter that minefield, though, I would advise you to prep your mum. You might have been thinking about this issue for ten years, but for her, it could be a shock, so preempt the conversation by letting her know that you have issues that you would like to discuss. That will avoid the possibility of her reaction being quite defensive. When you’re having the conversation, let her know that you love her very much, but explain the issue in terms of how it’s making you feel, so that you can own that. Then give her the space to react to it, which might take some time for her to process.”