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THEY TALK. WE LISTEN (SOMETIMES)

“HARDEST THING TO FIND IN THE SUPERMARKET? EGGS” Someone help REVEREND RICHARD COLES fill his basket

“ONE GOOD THING ABOUT ELON BUYING TWITTER IS THAT I WILL *FINALLY* LEAVE AND STOP BEING A COMPLETE MENACE TO SOCIETY ON HERE. SO IT’S WIN WIN FOR YOU ALL REALLY” You’ll be back, JAMEELA JAMIL

“I’VE DEFINITELY BECOME A DOG MUM, FOR SURE. HE GOES TO THE HAIRDRESSER EVERY SIX WEEKS THAT’S MORE THAN I DO!” KELLY BROOK has one pampered pooch

“I GOT TO A PLACE WHERE I WAS LIKE, ‘WHY DO I FEEL ASHAMED?’ I’M A 26-YEAR-OLD MAN WHO’S SINGLE. IT’S LIKE, ‘YES, I HAVE SEX’” You do you, HARRY STYLES… and whoever else you want to

“IS THIS THE BEST £7.99 I’VE EVER SPENT? YES, IT IS” MOLLY-MAE HAGUE is chuffed with her new Hogwarts doormat

“DID I JUST BECOME A FASHION MODEL!?” Watch out, David Gandy, JAMES “ARG” ARGENT is after your job