‘We’ve joined the club that nobody talks about, but we need to talk. It’s treated as taboo and it should not be’
WITH a look that reminded his parents of his big brother, Jesse Booth arrived on May 21.
Mum Georgie and dad Justin had been so looking forward to welcoming their second child into the world but, tragically, Jesse never took his first breath.
Days before the due date, Georgie felt reduced movement. A scan revealed their worst fears – Jesse had died.
They spent several days at Leicester General Hospital with Jesse, who was placed in a cold cot when he wasn’t being cuddled by his parents, big brother, or close family. Then they had to say goodbye and return to their home in Hinckley without him.
The bedroom they had lovingly prepared for him was empty and, instead of planning a series of trips with Jesse, they were planning his funeral.
Since then the family have been coming to terms with their loss by doing something that not many people in their situation do – talking about it.
They have been sharing their story on Facebook and talking to friends about what happened in a bid to raise awareness of the number of babies who are born asleep every day in the UK.
Now they are sharing their story.
I’d rather be open about it. It’s not something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of
‘WE HAVE HAD TO BE POSITIVE’
Georgie, 34, said: “Although this hasn’t been a nice time we wanted Jesse and and we love Jesse. We wouldn’t want him to think that we were just upset all the time.
“We have had to be positive. Hopefully we will be able to look back on this time and remember it in a positive light.
“The hardest thing is dealing with the hopes and plans we had.
“We went on holiday in the summer and that was meant to be Jesse’s first holiday. We are going away again later in the year.
“We were planning to get his passport and renew his brother’s. That was going to be Jesse’s first trip abroad.
“It’s hard, but you just have to stop yourself thinking about future plans and hopes.
“The one positive is it’s made us realise how strong we are.
“Relationships break up in situations like this because people don’t talk to each other. It has made us closer.”
60% OF STILLBIRTHS UNEXPLAINED
Every day in the UK nine babies are stillborn. In 2018 in Leicester there were 33 stillbirths, a reduction on the 86 recorded in 2009.
According to the charity Tommy’s, in a study of 1,064 pregnancies around 60 per cent of stillbirths were unexplained. Jesse’s death was also unexplained.
Despite the frequency of stillbirths, it isn’t something that’s frequently discussed.
‘HE WAS OUR BABY’
“If sharing our story helps one family realise they are not on their own then it’s worth it,” Georgie said.
“I’m not embarrassed about it. He was our baby. Before he was born I asked the nurse if it was normal to feel excited.
“I carried him for nine months, I wondered what he looked like and we were going to meet him for the first time.
“I’m sure everyone feels different about it, you don’t know how you’re supposed to feel.
“I would rather be open about it. “I found myself speaking to one woman about it. She told me she went through a similar thing 51 years ago.
“We have joined the club that nobody speaks about. There’s so many more people than you think who have gone through something like this.
“We need to talk about it more. It’s treated as taboo and it shouldn’t be.
“It’s not something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.”
One of the ways Georgie and Justin have dealt with the trauma of losing Jesse has been by speaking friends and family.
They have also had to field questions from a number of people about the pregnancy, from other parents, work colleagues, family and friends.
“It wasn’t a secret that I was pregnant,” Georgie said. “I wasn’t small.”
YOU HAVE GOT TO TALK ABOUT IT’ to
Justin added: “You just have to say that we have had him and he was stillborn. There’s no easy way to say it.
“You know people are going to feel awful and get upset. You have got to talk about it.”
“There’s all these people who have been through it and the only person I knew was Amy Radmall, a friend of mine,” Georgie added.
“She has been absolutely fantastic. She arranged tickets to Gulliver’s Kingdom for us and a Queen tribute concert. That was great because we had so much to do. You can’t shut yourself away from everything.”
The family are full of praise for the way they were treated at the General and how much control they had during their time with Jesse. They had a private room, away from other babies in the maternity suite, and were given choices over every element of their stay.
Georgie was also full of praise for Leicester Hospitals who have just launched a Rainbow Clinic for parents who get pregnant who have previously lost a child.
Parents will get specialist care which will feature increased monitoring and support to improve their emotional and psychological wellbeing.
Justin, his dad Ian, Georgie’s dad Stephen, and Justin’s friends George Delves and Joe Osborne are doing a sponsored skydive in November to raise cash for Leicester Hospitals Charity Baby Loss Appeal.
The appeal, which aims to raise £3,500, stood at £3,366 this week. If you would like to donate, go to: