Holyrood

Borders, Sturgeon the Hedgehog and Groundhog Day

All the chat and none of the chit

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Border issues

A Labour candidate was mocked for not knowing where he was seeking to represent, after posting a photo of himself campaignin­g in a town that is no longer part of the constituen­cy. Graeme Mckenzie, who was standing in Angus South, tweeted: “Great leaflet run in Forfar. It’s time for a fresh voice here in Angus South. “The voice of the communitie­s here have been left behind for years.” Arguably it is true that the town has been neglected by representa­tives of Angus South in recent years – as it’s been part of the Angus North and Mearns Constituen­cy since 2011.

More border issues

And in other border issues, a farmer accidental­ly moved the Belgian frontier with France after he shifted a large rock to make it easier to get his tractor through and plough his field. A local history enthusiast noticed the border marker, which dated to 1819, the time of Napoleon, had been moved 7.5ft into France, making Belgium ever so slightly bigger. “He made Belgium bigger and France smaller, it’s not a good idea,” David Lavaux, mayor of the Belgian village of Erquelinne­s, told French TV channel TF1. He added: “I was happy, my town was bigger, but the mayor of Bousignies­sur-roc didn’t agree.”

Sturgeon the hedgehog

If the SNP winning a fourth term in government wasn’t enough of a historic moment for Nicola Sturgeon, she has now also been immortalis­ed as a character in her very own video game. One fan brought together the worlds of politics and technology by creating the retro-style game ‘Nicola’. The game is a modified version of Sonic the Hedgehog which now features the First Minister in place of the prickly blue mammal. But the question is, she survived so far, can she avoid all the obstacles, beat ‘Dr Bojotnik’ (no idea who that’s meant to represent…) and collect enough rings to win that referendum?

Nat-b-gone

“Lib Dems can make the worry go away”. That was the headline of one press release to come from Willie Rennie last week. It was intended to highlight a commitment to vote against indyref2, but in the end just came across like the Lib Dems were selling some weird snake oil treatment to treat stress. Nat-b-gone – side effects may include stroking badgers, whacking colleagues with shinty balls and causing pigs to get a bit amorous.

Love is ale we need

Patrick Harvie admitted in the BBC Scotland debate that he was more excited to get to a beer festival than he was to see his parents after the pandemic was over. Days later this photo of him swooning over a pint dropped. Let’s hope we can all find someone that looks at us the way he looks at beer.

Groundhog day?

(Rubble pips Peppa and George in the Western Isles)

There are some countries in the world where if you don’t like what you’re offered on the ballot paper, you can simply suggest an alternativ­e. It’s not really something we do in this country, which is a shame for one young voter in the Western Isles, who wasn’t particular­ly keen on the choices available. They staged their own election, with a choice between George Pig, Peppa Pig and Rubble from Paw Patrol. The energetic pup was the clear winner. Rebuilding the country after the pandemic is clearly a higher priority for voters than muddy puddles.

Protection of the gods

Not an allergic reaction to the vaccine but actually some pretty dramatic inkwork, chief medical officer Dr Gregor Smith got a lot more interest in what he had on his arm than what was going into it

when he tweeted pictures of himself getting his COVID injection. As one Twitter user commented: “Yeah yeah vaccines are great an all but I’m here for the tattoo comments, our CMO is cool as fuck that is amazing ink”. The much-admired tats feature Asclepius, the Greek god of medicine, on his arm and Asclepius’ father, Apollo, the god of healing, disease, music and light, in his sun chariot on his chest.

‘Telt!’

Neil Gray will have been feeling on top of the world when he was elected as the MSP for Airdrie and Shotts.

But the SNP politician wasn’t allowed to get too carried away with the celebratio­ns because he had an important errand to run.

When the result came in for his constituen­cy, wife Karlie sent him a tweet, saying: “We couldn’t be MORE delighted for you as a family. However, I can’t get you on message or phone so if you could pick up milk on the way home I’d appreciate it #SP21 #SNPWIN #Backdownto­earthwitha­bang”

He posted a snap of him arriving home with the messages an hour later, with a caption which said: “Telt!”

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