GOOD WEEK BAD WEEK

TALKING

Jonty Evans is going to have his hands full after he goes cross-country, fellow rider Bruce Haskell pointed out.

“That’s going to be one savage cell phone bill to call all the owners!” he said. Hope your free minutes are up to the challenge, Jonty.

HONEST ADVERTISING

Spotted: “Free to any home, ex-racehorse who hasn’t decided what he’s good at yet but it’s not racing, dressage, showjumping, cross-country, being shod, clipped, plaited, hacking, being led to the field, being caught in the field, being led from the field.” Showing, perhaps?

ROS CANTER

No, not the newly crowned European eventing team gold medallist, but a

Spanish woman, whose Twitter account, @roscanter, was tagged by British Showjumping in a celebratory tweet. It was retweeted nearly 600 times. Oops.

THIEVERY

Helen Tredwell’s mum had a warning for whoever stole the rider’s hat. “Having worn the hat for two years, riding up to eight horses on many a hot day, it may prove extremely hazardous” she said. “In the interests of all, a swift return is the only safe option.” You have been warned.

SMUGGLING

Sharp-eyed Southwell stewards foiled a punter’s plan to sneak a tipple into the racecourse when they realised her sandwich was rather weighty. Inside, they found a bottle of vodka, amid the salami and some tiredlooking tomato. A for effort, D for attainment, we’re afraid.

PRIZE MONEY

Britain’s lack of a team at the showjumping Europeans sparked a question on prize money there. It appears entry was €525 per horse, the prize fund €750,000. “Wow that’s good value,” a rider said. “We spent £300-odd to go to Stoneleigh and won £50!”