Goodnight Columnist Tessa Waugh’s hunting diary

Perseverance with her new hunter, Jim, is paying off for Tessa Waugh, who has transformed him from something of a ‘drain’ into a ‘radiator’ in a mere six months

‘I don’t feel sick now before I ride him. My mouth is no longer dry at the mere mention. I even give him a pat now and then’

DO you ever put the phone down after speaking to a friend and feel a bit sick? Then immediately chastise yourself with the thought, “I’ll never get that 40 minutes back”. Why did I sit there like a muppet as they banged on about this, that, the other, themselves (mostly). Why didn’t I say I had ironing to do, supper to cook, plans to drink Domestos and put my head in the oven?

I think these types of friends are what are commonly known as “drains”, sapping your energy and your very soul, if you let them.

Any self-help manual will tell you to cut your losses and give them a swerve in favour of the “radiators”, the friends who give you a warm glow and make you feel good.

Does the same apply to a horse? I think so. Poor old Jim was a bit of a drain when he arrived last August. Nothing that bad, looking back.

“He’s just a bit of a dick,” said Laury, who helps with my husband Adam’s horses, hitting the nail on the head with this well-used equestrian term. I was in a bad mood every morning before I rode him and drymouthed for the duration of the ride. I rang my mother, expecting her to say, “don’t be silly, get on with it, you’ll be fine”, but she surprised me with a question, “do you remember Misty?” “Yes,” I said, the (slightly naff ) name conjuring forth an image of a 15.2hh bay mare — my mother’s horse when I was a child. “She was a nightmare when I first got her. When she saw a lorry on the road, she used to spin around and gallop home. I was seriously grumpy every morning before I rode her. Do you remember?”

I can’t say I did remember that, but I do know that when my mother got through the pain threshold with Misty, she was probably the best horse she ever had.

She nursed my sister Gillian and I through our first days’ hunting, doing all the leadingrein stuff with patience and grace. In the end, Misty was a paragon. So the upshot is, we’ve pressed on, Jim and I, and something good has happened. He has stopped being “a bit of a dick” and started behaving himself.

Upping the work has helped. I don’t feel sick now before I ride him. My mouth is no longer dry at the mere mention. I even give him a pat now and then, find time to groom him “My Little Pony” style at random moments in the day. Enjoy hunting him. He has made it to radiator status in the space of six months. Will the “drain” friend make a similar transformation? I can only hope.