GOOD WEEK BAD WEEK

BEING PREPARED

At the British Dressage National Championships, the wind had been creating havoc. When someone was looking for scissors to deal with some flappy flags, a super-prepared member of BD staff calmly produced a pair of secateurs from her bag. Ready to deal with any gardening emergency then.

THROWING SHAPES

Which top dog of which equestrian body declared that he’d been on the dance floor till the early hours that morning in a recent speech? “I only wanted them to play Wham and I’d have gone home happy,” he said, wistfully. Shall we wake him up before we go go?

MUGGLES

Top marks to the boyfriend who texted his partner, while WEG was on, to say: “There’s dressage on TV this morning. The girl with the famous horse is on.” A for effort, C for attainment…

VETS

A stressed owner with a badly injured horse was also undergoing treatment for a water infection herself. Having travelled to the surgery, she sat there, complete with urine sample, waiting to see the doctor — when the receptionist pointed out she was actually at the vet’s.

CLEANING

Feel for the rider whose dog tipped an entire tub, and we’re not talking a small one, of molasses all over the tack room floor. That’s sticky stuff, and there’s a lot of it. Still, might “Sorry, I was stuck to the tack room floor” be a good excuse for being late for work? (No go, Ed).

RUGS

Ah, it’s that time of year again. Visit any horsey social media page and you’ll find someone asking whether or not to rug their horse. As one rider put it, if it’s cold, put one on, if it’s not, don’t. Not rocket science, is it?