GOOD WEEK BAD WEEK

LAUNDRY

A rider whose Muggle mother washes her saddlecloths was slightly perplexed by a change in fragrance. “Have you changed your fabric conditioner?” she asked. Mum grinned. “Well, you’re always talking about being pushed out of your Comfort zone…”

SLEEPING

Yard staff were confused by a call from a member of the public reporting that their cow was dead – and the horses were eating it. In fact, the piebald horse was enjoying a snooze, while his companions tucked into the hay he was lying on. Owners confirmed he is definitely equine rather than bovine…

CLAPPING

A rider who set out for a hack at 7.45pm on a Thursday, forgetting what was to come, was gratified to find herself apparently the recipient of clapping and cheering. Why thank you, my mare is looking particularly well today…

SOCIAL DISTANCING

The rider of a horse snorting in fear at a Thing in the long grass on an off-road ride was surprised to see the Thing was two teenagers, er, enjoying themselves. The rider had to ask them to stand up so the horse could see what they were, at which point the red-faced pair rushed to get dressed. Not really keeping two metres apart, is it?

DISTANCING

Spotted in a piece on a news website: “Furlough used to be a word heard only in horseracing parlance”. Um. Surely furlong?

SENSE

Oops of the week goes to he who “drove aggressively” past a group of riders on the road, trying to scare the horses. Maybe he hadn’t realised they were mounted police. He realised when they seized his car though…