WEATHER ALERT

WEATHER warnings for January: If it gets really cold, don’t sit on the ice too long; you could develop Polaroids. When it’s raining cats and dogs make sure you don’t step in a poodle. Have patience with noisy sheep: when it gets cold they use central bleating to keep warm. Want to know how to make antifreeze? Steal her blanket. To cheer yourself up, buy a trampoline and pretend it’s spring. And if too much bad weather is getting you down, spare a thought for kangaroos. When it rains, the children have to play inside.