Anyone remember that thing called cash?

IREAD that some parents now use a bank transfer to give their children pocket money. The kids have a cash card and the Bank of Mum and Dad puts in so much a week or month as an allowance.

If this sounds bizarre, it is said that within five years, customers could be using ATM machines to apply for a loan or have an online video chat with a mortgage adviser.

These are among changes to make up for the closure of bank branches. It looks as if the cashless society has arrived.

I pay bills through internet banking, send money by bank transfer, go shopping with a card, even buy the morning newspapers in a cashless transaction. Cards can be used in restaurants and pubs and I bought my last two cars with one and I’m still a decade behind modern society and younger generations who use their mobile phones instead.

Don’t tell anyone, but I’m scared of smartphones.

“Did you get my message?”“What message?” “On your phone. I sent a message.”

They might as well have beaten it out on jungle drums because I don’t understand them either. A friend of mine, who is technosavvy, checked out my phone the other week and found unread messages telling me Mafeking had been relieved.

One drawback of a cashless society is that you no longer have spare change to drop into the charity bucket of youngsters volunteering to pack your shopping in supermarkets, buy a Big Issue or donate to the man in the sleeping bag in a shop doorway. Actually, that’s three drawbacks.

The sensible thing would be to go to the nearest ATM machine and wait in line to withdraw actual cash while the lady in front checks the balance of the Bank of Mum and Dad before telling six-year-old Glenda her allowance will be on hold until next pay day.

“Get a loan,” will say Glenda. “Or use your overdraft. Or I’ll tell Isobel’s mother you buy your perfume from Lidl.”

“Hang on. I’ll get a loan.”